Point Blank
by Ayame99
Summary: Is he losing his mind? K hasn't decided his world is all messed up. And it only gets worse when he stumbles into the wrong part of town. Who was that man calling him the 'Seeker? K's PoV. Mild BDSM. K x Hiro
1. Shame on You

**A/N:** This is an older story I did, actually it's the third Kiro fic I ever wrote. It came after The Gun and Guitar Part 2. It too, like GandG really needed some work, fixing bad grammar and all that. It's an odd tale, done in K's first person (yikes! it was tough to put myself in K's mind lol...Hiro's is much nicer lol!) Anyways, its a bit of a dramatic fic, K being a bit emo and there's naughty stuff, like mild BDSM stuff, voyeurism. It's kinky lol! Truly, I didn't get all hardcore on that. But the fun part is that we know Hiro is The Watcher, but K doesn't, of course XD He finds himself kind of torn between the two and coping with all these new feelings.

Poor K. Naughty Hiro -grins-

I hope you enjoy! I wanted to share this fic here. Of course like all my fics there is humour and oddness. There are only 6 chapters, I'll be posting them as soon as I complete editing them.

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Part 1

**Shame on You**

Downtown Tokyo is a busy place even at night—cars bustling along, people, crowding the sidewalks in search of their next haunt, lights flashing like rainbows on speed advertising hip nightclubs, shops and restaurants...an endless buzz. It was spring, but it made no difference really. No matter what season it was, it always amazed me when I stepped out of the NG building at night and into this. Like a flip of a coin—during the day it was all business, but at night it was pleasure.

I was half a block from NG, the powerful music label where I worked for the last two years. I managed a band called Bad Luck. Searching my tan pants pockets, fingers finding purchase with familiar things, a phone, cigarettes, some bullets—because, hey, this is me we're talking about—a package of gum and some change... You know, I'm starting to wonder if I seriously carry to much crap. I bet I looked like an Umpa Lumpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

But what I was looking for wasn't there...there was no familiar jingle of car keys.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath. I must have left my fricken keys in the recording studio or something. A weary sigh escaped me and I turned on my heel and headed back work. Like I don't get enough of this damn place?

The security guard, Bob, was surprised to see me again. Before I left, we'd had a pleasant chat about how the economy is going to hell and moaned about the Knicks losing last night's game. "Hey, K. Did you forget something?" he asked standing up behind his long black desk.

"Left my keys…you know, shit happens," I told him in my fluent Japanese.

"Of course," he muttered, chuffing with understanding and sat back down.

I gave a cheery wave as the elevator doors shut in front of me. My smile faded as the lift climbed higher and I patted the gun nestled under my right arm under my brown jacket, a trusty friend that has never let me down. It worked wonders in the music business...well, sometimes. I think people were starting to get used to me though...

I avoided looking at my reflection in the mirror inside the lift. I knew if I did that I would only see a, tired, overworked salary man. A man whose wife recently left him for some young Hollywood stud, I reminded myself and frowned bitterly. The image of a man with overly long, blonde hair all astray from the neat ponytail I started off with this morning. I felt weary, I felt aged and I just wanted to go home to my empty apartment.

Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered.

The elevator _dinged_ and the stainless steel doors opened almost soundlessly. I stepped out, walking down the familiar white hallway, the heels of my shoes clicking on the dark, polished tiled floors. Today Bad Luck had been in the recording room, cutting a new single. So I headed there first and quietly entered the long dimly lit room. I found myself behind the glass that divided the space, eyes roaming over the recording equipment, wide panels littered with dials and buttons.

Ah ha! I spotted my keys near someone's empty Styrofoam coffee cup on a table between two dark leather chairs. Lazy bastards...I'll be nice and throw out the cup, since it probably belonged to someone from the band or one of the technicians. How silly of me, to place my keys on the table, it must have been when I was messing with my cell phone earlier. But my senses alert I felt that I wasn't alone. I scanned the room but no one was here. Only then, in my peripheral vision, I caught movement in the isolation booth. Instinctively, I ducked and withdrew my magnum before anyone could see me.

I peeked from the corner of the glass; it was only Shuichi and Yuki...

Shuichi and Yuki! What were they doing...? But it became apparent what they were 'doing' here. A blush warmed my face, they were making out in the isolation booth, vaguely lit by the accent lights that always remained on even when the main light was shut off. I couldn't hear them because on either side, both rooms were soundproof, unless the mic was turned on. But from the looks on their faces I imagined there was a lot of heavy breathing, moaning.

I didn't think they'd noticed me.

_Ok, Claude,_ I told myself, _time to go._ But my feet aren't moving. Instead I found myself spying on the two love birds. I watched Yuki as he lifted Shuichi's shirt, leaning down to kiss over his belly. Gulp!

_You should leave!_ My mind roared at me.

I couldn't move, something held me here, compelling me to watch. On the other side of the glass, Shuichi and Yuki were kissing now. I could easily see their tongue's sliding over each other, their desire for each other almost, greedy. I bit my bottom lip, unable to stop myself from getting aroused.

But I'm not even attracted to men said my inner voice. Then why are you turned on, came other voice inside of my head.

Dammit! I was starting to wonder if I was losing my mind. It was talking nonsense much more than usual lately, and it was starting to piss me off. I continued to watch. Watched how Yuki's blond hair hung around his face, all tousled and sexy. I watched how his hands moved over Shuichi's sweet body, caressing, exploring. I somewhat wished I could hear them. Sounds of love making were definitely nice to listen to.

The writer nudged Shuichi's legs apart—his own body nestled between them on the floor behind the standing microphone. I saw Shuichi's violet eyes open wide with yearning. With a devilish smirk, Yuki expertly loosened the vocalist's pants, and yanked them down from under him. He spoke to Shuichi, I could see his lips moving, but I couldn't hear it. I imagined he said, "I'm going to fuck you senseless you little brat." Lost in the show, I smirked along with Yuki, watching him as he produced a little tube of something out of his pocket. I realized it was lubrication. The blond was still entirely dressed in his black dress pants, sporting a black jacket over a royal blue shirt. Yuki slipped a well lubricated finger inside Shuichi's displayed entrance.

I crushed the Styrofoam cup in my hand.

Shuichi tossed his head back, nails scratching over the hardwood floor of the tiny stage they played on. Still I watched with wide eyes like a lowly voyeur with a fetish. Their movement stopped for a breath, I observed Yuki undoing the front of his pants. His rear mostly hidden by the long black jacket he wore. Absently, I holstered my gun and pet over my own ache, sighing at the contact.

"Wowzers," I heard myself mumble at the size of Yuki's cock. It was huge—not that I'm concerned about my size or anything. But still, a man did notice the size of another man's dick. No matter, I felt confident that my rocket was up to scale.

"Come on, fuck him," I heard myself whisper urgently.

Yuki thrust himself into Shuichi and I didn't even feel that I'd bitten my lower lip hard, hard enough that I tasted something coppery on my tongue. I grit my teeth in the same fashion Shuichi was, rubbing over my arousal, panting along with every feral thrust Yuki delivered to the pink haired singer. I could feel it, I'm on the verge...and I wanted it _so_ badly!

Beyond the glass, Shuichi has his knees up to his chest, ass on display and his young face etched with pleasure. Ohh, don't stop Yuki, keep going for just a little longer, I thought impatiently. Just a little more, I'm so close! Libertine thoughts raged in my head and I thrust my hand down the front of my pants, my wrist snug against the tightness of my belt. It ached, but I had to touch myself, to feel the throbbing heat in my hand. Oh...yes! Here it is!

A strangled cry threatened to escape my lips, but I held it back as I released a jetting of hot fluid. Bliss! I slumped against the wall next to me, panting and riding my rush.

Oh _gawd_...

My senses returned, the cloud of lust swirled away, and realized what I had just done! A red heat washed over my ashamed face. Quickly, I scrambled up, forgetting about the crushed Styrofoam on the floor and high-tailed it out of there. Reminded of my treachery, I felt the uncomfortable wetness in my pants. Using my jacket to cover myself, I stabbed the elevator button in desperate hope to hurry it along. When the doors opened, I jumped in and slunk against the mirrored walls in the lift. Caught up in my shame, I allowed myself to view my reflection this time.

"What's the matter with you, idiot?!" I hissed to myself in the mirror. As if I expected an answer, I scoffed at the thirty-six year old watching me back.

I rushed out of the NG building, not even bothering to look at Bob and back into the downtown Tokyo night. Damn! I'm officially a peeping tom. An outright dirty pervert! I forgot all about my car and the stupid keys I'd returned to work to find. I inhaled the fresh air like it would cure me of my wickedness, gulping it down, trying to calm my heartbeat. I walked in no particular direction, I just needed to put some serious distance between me and NG and quickly.

But no amount of night air could quell the thoughts that roared in my mind. I just got off watching two men! Two men that were having sex! Two men that I knew and I'd just dishonoured their privacy. I immediately blamed my ex-wife, this was her fault! She was the one that cast me aside, thrusting divorce papers in his face a month ago. As much as I tried to put up a hard front, my insides were crumbling. The voices in my head, like devils, whispered haunting things, telling me that I'm just a has-been. I couldn't remember ever feeling so lost, alone...I'm just hard-up, trying to pacify my reasons for watching Yuki and Shuichi, I concluded.

_Well you didn't need to watch them, just rent an x-rated movie, read a playboy or go to a strip joint for Christ sakes_, my mind reasoned. I sighed. I am just a pervert. It wasn't Judy's fault I was a degenerate. I felt so tempted to start firing off my gun aimlessly—pot shots at any moving object. That always makes me feel better.

Instead I took out a cigarette; I lit it and inhaled gratuitously. Pursing my lips, I wondered if anyone noticed my deflated boisterous self lately. Probably not, I was just a manager after all, even though I made Bad Luck extremely popular. Still, I'm still just a sideline man. It was a tough job but I love it, it's what I am. I didn't miss working for Nittle Grasper's, Sakuma Ryuichi, who was seriously going be the making of my first grey hair I was sure. Thankfully, I have no grey hairs but I thought about it at the time. Ryuichi was definitely the epitome of young-hearted though. It was one of the things I loved about him, but he wasn't the challenge I craved anymore. Shuichi was. He has inner spirit unlike anyone I've worked for, it keeps me going. Now Bad Luck was a top-chart band, I felt proud for giving them the boost.

"Hey there honey," came a sultry feminine voice.

Blinking, I looked for the woman that interrupted my thoughts. I noticed a very sexy young girl, dolled up in striped stockings, booty shorts and a halter top—she was trying to 'work' me.

"No thanks," I muttered and looked around at my surroundings. Geez, what kind of area have I walked into? Obviously not paying attention, I wandered into a more seedy area of Tokyo. How fitting, I thought sarcastically, just the place a pervert like me deserved to be in, a red-light district. I hurried along, smiling cheekily at the hookers that waved their skinny little fingers at me.

"Love the hair, sweetie!" one called out.

Heh, yeah, I knew I was sort of standing out, being one of few non-Japanese people on the street.

"You look lost baby," said another in a sing-song tone.

"Ohh...you're packin', you aren't a cop are ya?" spoke a different girl nervously.

I shook my head 'no' and glanced around. Man, I had to get out of here! One of those chicks would probably squeal on me about my gun and real cops or the hooker's pimps would come after me. Heh, not that I couldn't defend myself, but I didn't think it would look very good for Bad Luck's manager to get arrested for fighting with pimps, nonetheless doing so in a red-light district.

I hauled open the nearest door to me and entered an establishment. I leaned against the door and sighed with relief to get away from the prostitutes outside. Phew...

"Good evening, my dear. Welcome to Violets," spoke a clear, prominent female voice.

I looked up and my eyes widened.

Before me was a tall, slim Japanese woman dressed impressively in a black and silver patterned kimono, hair done up in a strict braided knot. She had a pair of shiny black _zori_ and black toe socks on her feet. My eyes travelled higher to her perfect pale face, accented with ruby red lips. I knew she wasn't a geisha, but it made me think of that at first. She had the most regal elderly face, I was deemed speechless for a moment.

She chuckled softly, "My, my, it would seem the wind simply swept you in."

Her eyes studied me, I felt a little uncomfortable...it was like she was looking into my mind. I huffed, that wouldn't be a very safe place for her to be right about now. "I...I think I walked into the wrong place...I apologize," I said and turned around to retreat.

But she grasped my arm.

I turned on her. "Hey, what do--?"

"—how do you know you weren't meant to stumble in here?" She'd cut me off with her question, letting go of my arm.

Huh? Here? What was _here_ exactly? I let my eyes wander around the space, no one else was here and the place was quiet. It had a very cozy feel immediately, nothing to fret about. Soft, warm light came from decorative wall sconces which cast their glow off of velvety red wallpaper. To my left was a sitting room, lush with soft, white leather sofas, a white pile rug and a window that was covered with a heavy-laced curtain. The room was as red as the hallway in which we stood now. Opposed to the lady's traditional Japanese attire, this room was anything but traditional. It would have seemed I'd walked right into someone's home, only I knew the woman had said I'd walked into 'Violets', so, this had to be a place of business.

With a 'tsk', it began to dawn on me. "What is this place?" I demanded skeptically, reminded of the hookers outside.

"A place to find one's self," the woman answered simply.

Right, I'd walked into a freak house, just great. I groaned to myself. "Look, I should be going home, I have work in the morning," I told her.

"If you feel that's where you'll find the answers you seek, then so be it. But dare me to say that I don't think you stumbled in here for nothing...behind everything is a purpose," she claimed, standing there looking cool and calm.

"Right, sex for money, how much more simple does it get?" I replied haughtily, "I get it."

"If that's what you think this establishment is all about then perhaps it is better that you leave. But you seem like a person that could use a little adventure...enlightenment," she assured.

What?! Am I like a fucking opened book? "Look lady, I don't need your damn pity." Then she laughed. She was actually laughing at me! I frowned, "What's so funny?!"

She stopped laughing and wore a sympathetic face. "I can tell that this is very new to you, though I'm surprised, you seem like a very intelligent man. It's been awhile since I met a person that was clearly wet behind the ears, it's refreshing. The clients I'm used to are veterans, please forgive me. But what I offer here is a chance for you to find yourself, to explore a part of you that you, yourself never knew existed. A little role-play—not with me of course, with the others I hire to help...open your mind. I simply match the right person to them."

"Others?" I asked, until I realized I was encouraging her. "No…_no_, I don't want to know."

She forged ahead, "I'm curious. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?"

"Where do you get off—"

"Ever been tied up?"

"Err...no."

"Ever have a desire, a fantasy that you doubted you could ever fulfil?"

"Well…"

"Just needed to escape the harsh reality of the world, to share your pain with an anonymous voice? I can see it all over your face American," she declared, boldly stepping closer to me.

I backed up. She stepped closer.

"Even if that's all true, I don't think _I_ need to be here." It made me feel weak. I didn't want to feel weak! I am NOT weak!

She gave a tiny scoff. "Why not give yourself a chance to decide if that's true or not? There is no shame in what we do," she told me, "Shame is for the ones that live life in fear of it."

I stared at her. Only a little while ago I was the one feeling the epitome of shame. Ashamed with myself for the reaction Shuichi and Yuki's romp made me feel, ashamed that I had enjoyed what I saw. I felt ashamed for so many things these days...

"I have someone, he's quite new but very altruistic. He hasn't found his place here yet, a person that meets his match. Perhaps he needs a challenge. I was wary about hiring him but something tells me—"

A guy?! "I'm NOT gay!" I screeched much to my own surprise. Blood flowed into my face, partly from anger and embarrassment. I bet the whole block just heard me, I sighed. The woman in front of me didn't even flinch at my outburst...I'm starting to feel like a tool.

"Who said anything about sex?" the woman said, perplexed. "It's up to _you_ and him what happens...that is not the focus of what we do here. The focus is the fantasy."

"Fine…" I groaned. Oh no, I didn't! I can't believe I just agreed! I _am_ a sick and twisted pervert.

The woman smiled and took my arm lovingly. She led me to the end of the sitting room to a dark, heavy wooden door. It had the words "Private" written on the front in kanji. There were butterflies in my stomach that I hadn't felt since I was in highschool delivering a speech about mitochondria for biology class. I really wasn't a scientific person...

I blushed again despite the hard exterior I tried to keep a hold on. I followed like a child, letting her lead me down a long, narrow flight of stairs, to another long hallway. But this hallway was anything but warm and inviting...it was dank and dark. Only one bare bulb burned in the middle, which was almost low enough to brush my hair. I cut around it, noticing the floor was barren poured cement. No lush carpets or tiling, just bare concrete like the walls too. And along the way there were six closed, black doors with painted white numbers.

We stopped at number five.

I felt a shiver run up my spine, I felt like I was in a dungeon. "Err...maybe I made a mistake," I uttered, the thoughts of fleeing coming on strong.

"Give it a chance," the woman soothed, "Dare to try something new."

I watched as she pulled out a black folded cloth out of her kimono.

"What's that for?" I wondered out loud.

"All new seekers must wear a blindfold," she explained.

Seekers? This was getting weirder and crazier by the second. Maybe they were gonna rip me open and steal my liver to sell on the black market. With doomsday on my mind, I let the woman tie the thing around my face. It smelled nice, like cherry blossoms or something...it's probably laced with poison that's going to knock me out in a few moments.

I think I truly have lost my mind...

"Now the rules are no touching, unless given permission. You will only speak when spoken to or suffer the consequences. And you will have to leave that gun with me," the woman said in a more demanding tone, holding out a tiny hand.

I raised my eyebrows in question behind the blindfold. I groaned but fished out my magnum, I handed it her. "I _better_ get that back, you hear," I told her coolly.

"Of course…you are my guest. Welcome my name is, Violet," Violet said.

I sniffed at her revelation. I thought about giving her an alias but what was the point? "I'm, K." It was kind of an alias anyways.

She took my arm again and opened the creaking door. The first thing that found me was the smell of burning candles. Surprisingly, it felt warm in the room. I expected it to be cold and unyielding as the hallway with doors. Blindly, I let myself be led in and told to sit.

I sat. My hands felt an old wooden chair beneath me.

"Remember the rules. I'll be listening, see you in an hour," I heard Violet say and listened to her shuffle out and close the door.

Behind the blindfold my eyes darted about, instinctively trying to find my bearings. It didn't help that the tinge of trepidation was crawling under my skin like ants. I couldn't see a damn thing! It was useless. Then in the empty thrum of silence, I heard a scuff of movement. My heart leapt! I quickly darted my head in the direction of the sound. I sensed I wasn't alone...

"_You…" _

"Who's there?" I breathed out uneasily.

There was a long, agonizing pause before I heard movement again. The hollow sound of heavy boots moved towards me, actually from behind I realized and felt a prickly heat on the back on my neck. I felt like I was in an interrogation room, ready to be questioned and tortured by ninjas. _Don't be silly Claude_, I demanded of myself.

Finally a new sound filled the room, the jingle like that of a belt buckle. Unexpectedly, something was tightened across my chest, tying me to the chair. I tried to stand anyways, but the chair wasn't budging, it was set firmly to the floor.

"Hey!" I cried.

"You are speaking out of turn; didn't you listen to the rules?" ordered a male voice. "Now don't struggle against the restraints or I'll have to punish you."

Wha?? Punishment? No one mentioned anything about punishment. Eyebrows stitched with speculation, I realized the voice I was hearing was muffled as if it were hidden behind a mask.

"Wow, this could be fun. You're on my turf now. I can and will punish you if you require it," promised the guy in a tone that sounded almost...amused.

I blinked quickly at that. Oh lord, what the _hell_ have I just walked into...?


	2. Claude, You Freak

Part 2

**Claude, You Freak**

I sat in silence for a long time before the man in the room finally spoke again.

"Why have _you_ come here?"

Indeed I wondered that myself sadly. "I don't know," I said feeling very weird about this. I was not at all comfortable being given so little control. How could I let that woman talk me into something like this?! I felt like I'd willingly walked into a hungry spider's web.

Silence addressed me again, but I knew 'he' was watching me. I cast my face away as if avoiding his gaze, where ever that was exactly. I felt so stupid, what was the point of all this? "Why do I have to wear this blindfold?"

"You're out of turn again," warned the man, his voice not exactly unpleasant sounding.

I felt him come closer to me, heard his footfalls. I sensed him. I wondered if I kicked out would I make contact with his legs. Maybe bruise his shins...I could head bunt him. I weighed the options, but I held back the violence for now.

"One more time and I...I _will_ punish you," promised my mysterious acquaintance.

Hmm, was it my mistake or did this man sound a bit tense? Violet had mentioned he was new, hrmph. This was the strangest predicament I ever placed myself in, but hearing this guy's hesitation, I didn't feel as unnerved anymore. That sole factor alone made me worry. I _had_ lost it; anyone in their right mind should be fleeing and screaming by now. And I probably should too. Was I simply mad, maybe I needed to see a shrink?

Frustration burst out of me. "I don't need a shrink!" I hissed to myself, buried in my own dismal thoughts. Opps, did I say that out loud?

It came out of nowhere the slap to my face! I gasped in surprise and then grit my teeth angrily; growling under my breath. I balled my fists, utterly pissed off, "Asshole!"

This time something thrashed over my thighs. It stung. "Fucking hell! You have NO idea who you're messing with buddy!" I cried.

It hit me again over my legs. I seethed but held back my expletive this time.

"I'll keep punishing you if you don't stop talking out of turn!" hollered the man loudly.

For an instant I thought the voice sounded familiar. But I shook it off, to aggravated to care, and tried to stand again forgetting the chair was bolted to the floor. Dammit! Not wanting to be smacked again I struggled but kept silent. The swats hurt, but it didn't hurt me bad enough to draw blood at least. Still, it pissed me off!

I heard the boots of the man that was assaulting me move to the far side of the room.

"Madame Violet? A word with you please," I heard the man say.

"Just a minute," came Violet's voice.

I realized they were speaking through an intercom. I sat still for a moment my heart beating wildly against my chest, my breathing coming in erratic bursts with the irritation I felt. What was up? Were they going to let me go?! I sure fucking hope so!

The man in the room said nothing nor did he move for several moments. I blinked behind my blindfold, swathed in my world of darkness. This place is nuts! Like a nightmare! I touched the area on my thighs that still burned and stung, but I willed the pain aside.

Then there was a knock on the door.

I aimed my face in the direction of the door. I listened to the scuff of boots again, heard the door as it creaked open—could smell the musky scent coming from the hallway, and then the door shut softly a breath later. I strained to listen. The man in the room had called Violet back, I wondered why...

"I don't think I can do this," I heard the man say.

"Why not? I thought you were doing a splendid job," replied Violet.

"It's just…he…_that_ man—"

"—needs you... he needs you my boy. All people want and need guidance. This is your first seeker of course you're adjusting," Violet spoke so softly I barely heard it.

"But…"

THUD!

I jumped in my seat; someone got slammed against the door.

"Be a man or I'll punish you personally!" claimed Violet angrily. "Remember what I said, don't cross your madam."

"Yes, yes I'm sorry," quickly the guy alleged.

The door opened again and closed. I heard the man sigh. Geez, what the hell was _that_ all about? It sounded like this guy didn't want to be here, well...welcome to the club buddy!

"What's the matter, this place a little too weird even for you?" I taunted, snickering.

With a whoosh of air, I suddenly I felt him in close proximity, "STOP TALKING OUT OF TURN!" he cried at me, his breath washing over my face. I sensed the fruity essence of sugar as if he'd been eating candy earlier.

THWACK!

_Ouch!_ Pain seared over my right cheek. My ears rung, I grunted, angry all over again. I went to touch my face, but my hands couldn't reach because of the restraint around my arms and chest. I wanted to scream murder! There had to be laws about this sort of thing I thought, snarling.

"Look, this is how it works. You talk only when spoken to. You have to accept that _right_ now, you are the submissive and I'm the dominate one. If we can do that then I won't have to punish you and you won't leave here in pain. You don't want that do you?" asked the man insistently.

Almost afraid to talk, I hesitated before responding. "No... But I'm sure you won't see me back in here, so don't bother with the rules. It was a mistake I walked into a nut house. Look, there were these hookers and their pimps could be anywhere nearby, I don't need to cause bad publicity for…"

"Enough! Who are you to judge?" he barked at me. "Surely, Violet told you that this place is just an outlet, a corner away from reality, a place to discover things about yourself you might not find anywhere else. We role-play. It can also be a lot of fun...if you let it, if you accept."

"Sadomasochism?" I breathed in horror.

"Ah, so you do understand the proper term. Why the stricken face?" He laughed at me, the sound bordering on a giggle.

"Well, you have to admit this whole setting is a little creepy. Why do you do this, do you _like_ hitting people?" I countered with my own question.

"With all learning and discovery comes discipline; pain is the rawest form. The bondage is, well, it's just for fun, part of the game," he answered casually. "I give you permission to talk freely, I won't punish you."

I was wary at first. "You...you never answered my question. Do _I_ need discipline? What am I supposed to learn anyways? Am I some kind of experiment to you whackos?" I threw at him.

"Maybe I am getting a cheap thrill from punishing _you_." He chuckled serenely. "But you haven't experienced the reward yet. This stuff isn't just about whips and chains and receiving pain, you know. If I feel like it, I might reward you or humiliate you."

He took a few steps closer and made a 'humph' sound. "You of _all_ people, huh? I'm SO curious now that I have you here." His voice sounded bemused, mischievous.

"Huh?" I asked, bewildered. What did _that_ mean?

He never answered me.

"So, if I'm good will I get a star-sticker on my school book that says, 'Good Job K, you did super well in class today'. I mean come on…" I laughed at how ridiculous I sounded but I really couldn't get into this 'role-play' he was offering.

"Well, I'm surprised you choose a man to talk to, I never thought _you_…I mean, what made you choose that?" he asked.

I wondered why he keeps talking to me like he knows me, strange... "I didn't exactly _choose_, I was sort of convinced," I claimed, "That lady said that this wasn't about sex."

"True, but that depends if I like you or not," he quipped. "But here you are, talking to a man. Don't you have a wife to talk to?" he questioned with a tone of curiosity.

Hrmph, "What makes you think I'm married? Are you even allowed to ask people about their marital status, or, are you just nosey?" I asked straight out.

"Well, there are a lot of people that come here that are married," he said flatly. "Not that that is any of my business. But yes, I am being nosey."

No way! I wasn't going to start spilling my guts to some creep that was smacking me around. He was probably some butt ugly guy in leather and some fishnet thingymabob brandishing a whip! I bet he was some huge balding creep that resembled Bigfoot who got his jollies playing the sadist. The only thing that scared me more than that image was Reiji's mechanical panda bear.

I shuddered.

"Look, let's just chat for the hour, I'll leave peacefully and you'll never have to see my sorry face again. But F.Y.I, K is not married anymore," I pointed out rather despairingly.

"_Really?_" the stranger in the room said with surprise. "I...I didn't know that."

Once again—for a second there—it didn't sound like the same voice I'd been hearing for the last while. I followed the man curiously, turning my head in direction of his footfalls as he paced around and around my chair. Why did he seem so surprised that I wasn't married?

"Stand still! You're making me dizzy," I complained.

"Do you like men?" He asked out of the blue, still pacing around me, "Preferably, Japanese men?"

"NO!" I hollered heatedly, "Why is everyone asking me that?" Ok, he was the only one that had asked me that, but the little devil in my head pointed out that I got off watching two men in action tonight. I moaned with misery and felt myself blush again. Aww, for crying out loud! The man stopped in front of me, he was analyzing me I bet. I could feel it. So I dared to ask, "Do _you_ like men?"

There was a run of silence. Did he not know? I thought maybe he was thinking of a good answer.

"Yes, I like both men and women," he finally answered.

I got my answer. Hurray for me, I thought sarcastically. Now what?

"Why are you getting so defensive?" he asked me.

"Well, you would too if someone assumed you were _gay_," I pointed out, cleaning under my nails blindly as I sat tied to a chair.

"Are you a homophobe then?" continued the man's questions.

"Why, are you going to ask me out?" I chirped mockingly and chortled.

"Hrmph," he sounded.

I realized the man sounds rather young. Even if his voice was muffled it had a young resonance. I wondered how he got involved in something like this. Must be his fetish—obviously—a side he kept secret maybe? Did his friends and family know about this 'hobby'? Probably not, I imagined.

I answered the question he asked anyways, "Of course, I'm not a homophobe. I work with a little flaming butt pirate almost everyday...to each their own." I didn't have any qualms about it, only when people accuse me of it. I'm I being a little too irrational? Would it really matter if I were gay? Waaa! What am I thinking?! Maybe bisexual would be a better term...?

_Claude! You freak!_

"Shut up," I hissed at the devil in my head.

"Is, um...everything alright?" whispered the guy. "I've never seen you like this...I mean, you seem like you have something on your mind."

_You've never seen me at all before this_, I thought oddly. I just sighed, "I'm fine."

Without hearing his footfalls, I startled when his breath washed over my face again. It wasn't unpleasant but it made me squirm a little, my personal space was being invaded. But stubbornly I kept my head steadied as if staring him down.

"You know," he whispered, his voice close to my ear now, "I never imagined a guy like you being my first seeker. But now that you're here and I'm over the shock...I'm enjoying this."

There was something about how he spoke to me, his voice very sultry and hushed, I gulped. What was I supposed to say? The soft rustle of material met my ears. What was he doing?!

I flinched when I felt his palm touch my face, his hand placed on my cheek, softly petting me. I didn't want to acknowledge how nice that felt.

"You don't have to be alone anymore, I'll take care of you," he said in a sweet and earnest tone.

But I couldn't accept this. I turned my head away and sharply cried, "I DON'T NEED ANYONE! I don't need your pity!"

The hand left and I snarled my face contorted in anger. My insides were hurting, not just from what was happening here, but what was happening in my life! It felt all kinds of messed up right now.

"Your time is up," I heard Violet's voice float into the room and my anger subsided. Her voice came from a speaker in the room or something.

Right away, I felt the restraint loosened and realizing I could do so, I stood. For a moment I thought of attacking the man that had throttled me for good measure, but I hesitated. I just wanted to go home. I began to reach for the blindfold, "Can't I at least see who I was talking too?"

"No!" cried the man urgently. "It's imperative for new seekers to stay blindfolded until the watcher allows you to take it off."

"You're the watcher?"

"Yes, but you said you wouldn't be back, so what does it matter to you?" he asked me indignantly and led me from the room. His grip on my arm was strong and pushy.

"That's right—crazy place. I hope I don't have nightmares and wet my bed." I said cynically.

"Well here's Violet, goodnight, K," said the mystery man/punisher/wacko.

Hmm, why did he sound amused?

I heard the door creak shut behind me and I tore off the blindfold. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the straining light of that bare bulb in the hallway.

"Well, what do you think, and not to worry tonight was free," said Violet, watching me curiously.

I stood blinking at her and took back the gun she held out to me. Holstering it, I answered her, "I think I need a drink."

With that I shoved past her and almost ran up the stairs and into the oh-so cozy living room. I burst back into the street were all the hookers were. They glanced at me funnily and began snickering. I grunted and charged past them.

When I found my car in a parking lot next to my work, I got in and took a few calming breaths. Fuck, what a night, I thought shaking my head.

I put the key in the ignition and revved the engine. Hastily, I backed out and tore off down the streets of downtown Tokyo. Tonight felt like a dream, a nightmare. I almost convinced myself that none of it ever happened, that I never seen Yuki and Shuichi...that I never got handed divorce papers. It's all just a twisted nightmare; I'll wake up and it'll be tomorrow and I'll laugh at myself.

But the evening continued...

Home was a two story apartment building. I had to climb a flight of stairs to the second floor. I inhaled familiar smells of my neighbours cooking; it was actually a welcome home I enjoyed. But it always reminded me of how little time I get to spend at home being a lazy shit, indulging in free time. Free time, ha-ha, _right_... I worked a lot; mostly I came home to sleep and clean myself up and go back to work.

Finding the keys, keys that I now placed the blame on for starting this whole venture tonight, I opened my door. Flicking on the lights, I kicked off my shoes and headed straight for the cupboard that held my prized bottle of Jack Daniels. Judy had given it to me when she last came to Japan for a movie premier. But now seemed like a good time as any to open the stuff. I poured half a glass of whiskey and took it to the couch where I flopped down with a sigh.

"Cheers Claude, to being a sucker tonight," I reprimanded myself and sipped the amber liquid. It burned the night away, excellent. I flicked on the evening news, still trying to forget this entire evening.

I put my feet up on the coffee table.

"_Why did _you_ come here?"_ It was his voice, the man from the dungeon.

"Shut up," I muttered, downing more Jack.

"_Who are you to judge?"_

"Argh!"

"_You don't have to be alone anymore. I'll take care of you..." _

I groaned and downed the rest of my drink. Stop thinking about it, I demanded of myself. Seriously, I had to stop replaying that man's mysterious voice. I closed my eyes and soon fell into a fitful sleep full of crazy dreams.

"_I am your seeker." _

"_Yes K, kneel before me..." _

_I tried to find the face of the person that spoke but I could see naught. The room was pitch black, but now I was on my feet again, moving around freely, anxious because I couldn't see where I was going...I wasn't wearing a blindfold. I couldn't find the exit, I reached around me but felt nothing. _

"_KNEEL," demanded the voice._

_I knelt because inside my heart I feared the punishment. _

_A hand gently touched my face…_

Gasping, I woke up. My heart was hammering in my chest, my eyes wild and unfocused. I brought a hand to my face, to the spot where the watcher had touched me. And for a moment my blood rushed sensually. "Stupid..." I murmured sleepily and sighed. I _knew_ that I going to have nightmares because of that.

But was it really a nightmare? I didn't want to admit it, but there was something nagging me about that watcher. Maybe it was just my curiosity, the way he touched me. It was like I knew him, but that was ridiculous. I scoffed and got up, stumbling off to my bedroom. Bed was much more comfortable than the couch. Standing there like a limp scarecrow, I peeled off my clothes. I think I fell asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

Morning came with the singing of birds and the insistent honking of someone's car horn outside. My eyes cracked opened, but I didn't move. I just lay there feeling like a zombie. I counted the number of seconds between each car honk. Five seconds. Man! Whoever they were picking up I wished to fuck they'd hurry it up—the honking was killing my brain. I looked over at the alarm clock, which I forgot to set and realized... it was already eight in the morning.

I'm late!

Quickly, I flew out of bed and showered, found fresh clothes among the array of mess in my room. Who had time to seriously clean up? I fastened my holster to my belt and sheathed the gun. I grabbed my jacket and ran to my car and drove like a madman to work.

I hurried past the morning-shift security guard, whose name I didn't even bother with—I liked Bob. But this younger guard was trying to tell me something, but I wasn't listening. Then, I almost crashed into Tohma. Oh shit! I wasn't watching where I was going, that was what the guard was trying to tell me. Heh.

"Bossman, geez, sorry about that," I said.

"K, good morning, running a little late?" he asked me, looking bright-eyed and cheery.

"Kinda..." Grr, I hated running into the boss when I felt late and rushed for work, it seemed so unprofessional. I fixed my tie, composing myself. "Ha, ha you know how morning traffic can be?" I offered casually using my charms.

Tohma smiled, "Yes of course, they really should add another lane on the highway or something."

I nodded in agreement, "Indeed, well, I should get to Bad Luck. They're still working on that new single. It's amazing!"

"Yes, they have a new album due for release next month, correct? You're down to the wire," Tohma reminded.

"That's right," I replied, watching him casually.

Tohma was studying me for a moment before he said—as if it just came to mind, "You know, K-san...could you stop by my office later? I'd like to discuss something I've been thinking about—when you're free of course."

"Um...sure," I said gladly, but falsely.

"Good, it's kind of important...something I should have done weeks ago, but I only discovered recently," he explained and added, "I'll see you later."

"See you." I watched Tohma head for the front doors. He glanced back at me with that smiley face of his. Uh-oh, I knew that face. It meant I was in hot water. Tohma was wearing his shark smile. I groaned and made my way to the recording studio. Just the thought of that room made me recall everything about last night.

Groan...

"K! You're late!" complained Suguru as soon as I entered the room. I mean, I loved the guy but sometimes he acted like a grumpy old man. Everyone else stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me also.

Over the speakers I heard Shuichi, who was already in the isolation booth, "Hi K-san! Wow, I can't believe I beat _you_ to work...this has to be a first!" He began chortling raucously.

All I could manage was a feeble wiggle of a hello with my fingers at Shuichi. I could barely look in his direction without feeling my face flame. I looked at the others.

"Sorry, I had errands," I lied to them and watched Hiro dash over to a table, the same table I forgot my keys on last night. He picked up a large coffee cup and turned to me.

"Here, I got you this, you probably need it," Hiroshi said holding the cup out to me. I looked at him incredulously...Hiro _never_ got me coffee before, and a store bought one at that! It was then that I noticed that Hiro looked as tired as I felt; there were dark circles under his eyes. I held up the coffee in question, "Two cream one—"

"—sugar," the guitarist finished for me and smiled.

I hesitantly smiled back.

Gee, why was he staring at me? I hated when Hiro studied me that way, as if his smart brain knew something I didn't. "Thanks again," I mumbled and sipped the wonderfully hot coffee. It was just what I needed.

I looked away from Hiro's surveying grey eyes and peered through the glass that divided the room. Shuichi was there, wearing headphones and started warming up his vocal cords. Heat rose to my face again, all I could see was Shuichi's features contorted with pleasure—I almost choked on my next sip of coffee.

Sakano walked into the room and bumped the door into me, hot coffee spilled and landed on my shoes, but he also knocked me out of my embarrassing thoughts. I glared at the man, but he just cried for forgiveness hoping I wouldn't pull my gun on him. I must say I extremely tempted at the moment...

"Club Citta wants to push back our live concert a month after the release of the new album," Sakano announced.

Immediately I forgot about killing Sakano. "What?!" I cried, "They said it was a sure thing, one week after the release! Did you just find this out now?"

"Yes, they phoned me a moment ago, I was hoping to find you here. Apparently they are having some new renovations done and it's starting in thirty days and won't be done until a month after the release. They told me they would have to reschedule all concert dates." Sakano adjusted his glasses nervously.

"Can't we convince them to hold off construction for a few days more? It's only a one week difference," Hiro pointed out.

I was thinking the same thing. In fact I knew just the people to talk to and grinned to myself. "Not to worry, you'll have your concert as scheduled, I'll see to it. Now how is the rest of the recording? How is Shuichi coming along?"

"He's been yawning most of the time. Seems like he never sleeps," Suguru said with a 'tsk'.

Suguru was looking bored at the prospect of hanging out in the control room. He seemed eager to be elsewhere. True, there wasn't much for the instrumental part of the band to do when it was up to Shuichi to record vocals. Their stuff was already mixed and recorded...today it was Shuichi's turn to finalize the single with his voice.

I was sure I knew _exactly_ why Shuichi seemed so tired, though...hrmph, messing around with Mr. Romance all night. Still, it was no reason not to get the job done. "It's still early, I'm sure he'll wake up soon. Besides, you guys don't have to hang out here all day. Your part is already done, unless you want to stay for moral support," I told Suguru and Hiro.

"Hmm, I got some things I wouldn't mind doing, a few sounds I've been working on. Maybe I'll go to our regular studio room. I'll be there if you need me," Suguru said and walked out.

Sakano excused himself too, saying that he had to make a few phone calls. I nodded and took another gulp of my coffee. Over the rim of the cup, I noticed Hiro was still watching me...

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you bitbyboth for your lovely comment and secret25!! Hehe I guess this chapter might answer your question hun! --grin-- I hope you enjoy!


	3. The Light is Green

Part 3

"**The Light Is Green"**

I was in no rush to go see Tohma about whatever he wanted to talk to me about and I planned on avoiding him as long as possible. That meant avoiding my office, cause then I could claim my cell phone battery died or something, well, that's if he tried to call me. I figured I'd finish this coffee first before I take care of business about Club Citta. Though, I couldn't help but notice that Hiro keeps looking at me, as if he's scrutinizing.

"Don't you have somewhere to go, or, are you going to hang out with Shuichi here?" I questioned him as he took a seat on one of the leather chairs in the studio, his gaze nowhere in particular now. He leaned back folding his arms over his soft yellow t-shirt; it seemed as if he was chewing on a thought.

"K…" he started quietly, "…is everything, ok? With you, that is."

Huh? Hiro's question caught me completely off guard. Was I wrong in my assumption that no one noticed my odd behaviour lately? Did I have dark circles under my eyes too? Did my guilt march around me like a soldier shouting all about what I'd done last night? There were technicians in the room and I didn't really want to have a heart-to-heart with Hiro right now. So all I said was, "Everything is hunky dory," as convincingly as possible.

"You don't seem yourself. I was just concerned," Hiro said undeterred, reaching for a cup of coffee of his own from the small table between the chairs.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I could say the same about you. You're always tired looking lately, something up?" I countered with my own question.

Hiro looked away then. "I…err, no, nothing's up. Just a couple late nights I suppose."

"You should take better care of yourself then," I told him straight-up and watched him sip his coffee and sigh pleasurably, his eye lids fluttering closed, a splayed hand on his thigh.

"Mmm, that's good," Hiro murmured almost, erotically.

I found myself almost transfixed on _him_ now.

But then Shuichi began to sing. I was released from Hiro's tiny sensual act and looked back over at Shuichi...his voice was better than ever. I was sure this single was going to be a hit. At least Tohma couldn't be giving me trouble for any band related reasons I figured. Then what...? Fuck it...I needed to get out of here, go deal with that Club Citta issue. It'd buy me a few hours to think about what Tohma wanted, what he'd 'discovered'. I knew Shuichi was going to be fine.

"Well, I'm going to take care of business. I'll see you later," I told Hiro and turned around. "Thanks again," I held up the coffee cup in gratitude and reached for the door.

"Wait. Can I come with you?"

I turned back around to face Hiroshi. "Eh?" I was clearly surprised, Hiro come and do manager work with me? Why? Since when, was he seriously _that_ bored? I dared to ask, "Aren't you dying to go see your girlfriend or something?"

The brunette or was it redhead? Really, depending on the light Hiro's long hair shone in many spectrums I noticed. Right now it looked brunette...it made me touch my hair thoughtfully as I watched him stuff his hands into his jeans pockets. Did I ask a bad question?

Surprisingly, though, Hiro started to chuckle. "We don't date anymore, says long distant relationships never work. Whatever, I guess it wasn't meant to be," he said and shrugged.

The last thing I imagined was Hiroshi laughing off a break-up. But it was apparent that he wasn't too worried about it, which made me wonder if I was brooding too much over my ended marriage. Either way, Hiro was a very calm and collected sort of guy. Except when he was truly pissed off then it was best to steer clear of his path at those times, because he got so stubborn. I'd never tell him, but I enjoyed the tougher side of Hiroshi.

"I see…well, if you want to come along, sure I guess," I told him. Why the hell not?

Now Hiroshi was grinning at me, and for some silly reason I grinned back.

The redhead stood up, grabbed his dark jean jacket and waved bye-bye at Shuichi. "I'll be back soon!" he told him, "I'm going to run errands with K-san!" Then Hiro patted my shoulder and said, "Well let's go big guy, let's see our manager in action."

I scoffed at that—'in action', huh? Hiroshi really had no idea... If I was going to do some 'convincing' via the sniper rifle, I'd most definitely not bring Hiro along. Hmm, what would he say then about that kind of 'action'? I mused over that for a moment with utter glee, imagining Hiro scared shitless. But my mission today was fairly straight forward and having Hiro around could be nice for a change, fun even. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why I felt so happy about that, like I was going on a field trip or something.

We finished our coffees and left the studio and rode the elevator down in silence. I waved cheerily at the security guard on the way out.

"Shuichi tells me nightmares about your driving, try not to kill me," Hiroshi pleaded with a genuine look of concern on his face.

We got into my ash grey Mazda and I laughed at his comment. "Shuichi is exaggerating. What's wrong with being an aggressive driver?"

"Nothing, as long as you don't give your passengers a heart attack," Hiro claimed and winked at me. Then he laughed, chortled even, the sound filled the car...it was so pleasant to listen to. Hiro had such a carefree laugh, which made his whole face light up.

I shook my head and backed out, headed for the highway, but the traffic was already congested...this could take awhile.

"For a person concerned about heart attacks—you should be wearing your seat belt," I pointed out, a bemused smile on my face.

"Point taken," Hiro murmured and yanked on the buckle by his right shoulder and pulled it across his front. It clicked into place.

There was silence for several minutes...I just wasn't sure what to say. When I glanced over at Hiro, he seemed content gazing out of window, his fingers tapping out a tune on his lap. He seemed so relaxed, I was jealous...I didn't feel that relaxed. I had to admit that Hiro's company was making me tense, but at the same time I was pleased he was here, glad that I wasn't alone. I don't understand it.

But there was something I was curious about and I broke the silence. "So, what's been keeping you up so late at night that has put luggage under your eyes?"

Hiro turned to look at me with devilment written all over his face, "Just an interesting new hobby."

I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. I guess he didn't want to share what his new 'hobby' was, so I wasn't going to pry further.

"Can I smoke in the car?" Hiro asked.

"Sure"

I opened his window a crack.

"So, do anything interesting lately?" Hiro asked casually, flicking some ash out the window.

Oh sure, I peep-tommed, went to a red-light district, played a little S&M with a guy that called himself a Watcher...the usual. "Err, not really," I fibbed.

"Hmm, maybe you should get out more," Hiro offered, "Be a little reckless. I bet you could use some recklessness in your life. I bet you spend most of your evenings at work."

"_You're_ telling _me_ to be reckless?" I gawked at Hiro for a second, "This coming from the guy that calls me a 'crazy American'." I laughed genuinely.

Hiro was laughing too. "I have not!" he joked and pretended to look hard done-by.

I looked over at Hiro amusedly, he was teasing me. Maybe bringing him along was a good thing, because he was making me laugh and distracting me from the depressing things. I didn't even feel as tired as I did twenty minutes ago.

So I teased back, "Careful there Hiroshi or you might end up looking down the barrel of my gun." I gave him a smug look.

"Oh reeeally? And which 'gun' would that be…K?" Hiro mused, his voice on the verge of naughtiness.

Wha?! I looked at Hiro sharply, taking my eyes off the road. We were at a stop so I found myself gaping at the guitarist and his very suggestive remark. My cock twitched involuntary. Was Hiro flirting with me? Don't be ridiculous, I thought, he's just joking around. It wasn't like Hiro and Shuichi never joked around like that, I heard them do it all the time, but...this was the first time Hiro had ever joked with me like that.

Car horns were honking at me from behind.

"Um, the light is green," Hiro said humorously.

Crap, I floored it through the intersection and kept my eyes on the road. We never said another word till we got to the club.

I parked the car and opened the door. "I just need to find out who the contractor is, wait here, it should only take a second," I told Hiro, who nodded and leaned over to fiddle with the radio dials.

"Sure no problem," he answered and gave me a tiny salute.

Heh, I smiled weakly and shut the door to my still running car. I walked towards the club; every nerve inside of me was alive like a hydro wire. And for the first time ever, I thought of Hiro in a sexual way. Like, what a kiss with him would feel like, if he slept naked or in PJ's—his lips wrapped around my cock.

Ack! What's wrong with me these days?!

I chewed on that question as I pulled open the big, heavy club door. I forced myself to focus, and looked for some kind of information about the upcoming renovation. On a bulletin board, littered with concert posters and event listings, I saw a notice about it. All I needed was the construction company name that would be doing the job here—I had no intention of dealing with Club Citta themselves. I memorized the name and number then returned to the car, which was now thumping with rock music.

"Find what you're looking for?" Hiro asked me loudly over the tunes.

"Yeah, I did," I said and got in, turning down the music. I pulled out my cell phone and dialled the number I found inside the club. "Could you please tell me where your main office located?" I asked customer service. I got the directions for Keiko Construction's main office. I thanked them and hung up. Then I reached over and turned the music back up.

"I see where you're going with this," Hiro divulged, smiling wryly at me.

I winked at him. Hiro was quick on the uptake.

We drove for about twenty minutes in silence, just listening to the music and occasionally glancing at each other. I spied a smirk on Hiro's face; he looked to be in his own thoughts. At that very moment I thought I'd pay _anything_ to get a tiny glimpse inside of Hiro's mind.

Finally we arrived at Keiko Construction.

"You coming?" I asked Hiro and he looked over at me in surprise.

"I thought you were going to make me wait in the car again," he murmured and exited the car. He slipped on a pair of silver-rimmed shades from his inside pocket and followed me inside the building.

It was a relatively small office, one floor with a subtle front sign. We walked up to a cheerful looking receptionist and I asked for the person in charge of the renovation at Club Citta. It only took five minutes before we were being directed to one Mr. Mai's office. I opened the light wooden door briskly and entered a small office. The walls had corkboards with pinned-on sheets of developments and jobs on the go. But my eyes landed on the bulky man, with slight balding on the crown of his head, sitting behind a big desk. He stood to greet us, his face friendly; we bowed our hello and shook hands too.

The man told us to take a seat, so we did.

"I'll get to the point. I'm the manager of a band called Bad Luck. You can call me K," I told him.

"Bad Luck did you say? My daughter loves that band!" Mr. Mai exclaimed excitedly and looked at Hiroshi and gaped. "I know who you are!"

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Mai-san," Hiro said and chuckled softly.

I smiled at Hiro, who was looking like the rock star he was in his cool shades. Mr. Mai blinked and returned his eyes to me. "Well Mr. K, what brings you here?" he continued looking perplexed now.

"You're doing a renovation for Club Citta, I was hoping I could convince you to push back your start date to the second week June instead of the end of May," I explained and sat back to watch the man.

Mr, Mai's eyebrows rose with enquiry, "Push back the date…what for?"

"I _need_ to have Bad Luck perform at Club Citta during the first week of June, it's crucial, you know meeting the target sale point and all that jazz, my boss will be breathing down my neck," I exaggerated and hoped he'd see things my way. But I had my magnum ready and waiting if necessary. _Yes Claude, work your magic or feed him a bullet_. My own thoughts amused me greatly.

"Sir, we're talking about a high profile customer here, I have a reputation to keep." Mr. Mai told me justifiably.

"Of course, I completely understand." Time to pull out the big guns I guess. "What if...I gave you tickets for your daughter and four of her closest friends to go to the concert?" I grinned like the Cheshire cat and cast a glance at Hiro. He was watching the interaction quietly, a smile playing over his lips. Feeling confident that I'd caught the attention of the fish, I looked back to Mr. Mai and to the task at hand.

"R-really?! I…I…well, it is her birthday in a few days," the balding man paused as he thought it over, but it didn't take long. "Oh, she'd be so thrilled. Hmm, well, I could just push a smaller job ahead of Club Citta and tell them there's a short delay and I'm short of labour. Heh, construction is notorious for delays and going past deadlines."

"So we have a deal then?" I questioned.

Mr. Mai nodded and like usual I always carried tickets to an upcoming concert on me. I handed the man all five of my tickets. The foreman stood up with glee and shook my hand powerfully this time.

"Thank you so much and V.I.P's! What luck! I have to call to my wife!" he clamoured, reaching for his phone.

Hiro piped up then, "Excuse me, what's your daughter's name?"

Mr. Mai looked over at Hiro. "Airi," he replied.

Hiroshi stood up. "Well, you can tell Airi-chan, that Hiroshi Nakano says 'Hi' and that Bad Luck looks forward to meeting her and her friends backstage at the concert. Will you tell her that for me?"

Mr. Mai just nodded dumbly and murmured, "Oh, I will."

I laughed, what Hiro just did was serious fan service, but he'd just made one young girl's entire day, that I was sure. I was feeling pretty good myself. Meh, what are a few tickets when the concert shockwave would boast sales for the new album?

"Well thanks again sir. And seeing as we are both busy men, I'll leave you with a good day," I said and turned to leave. On our way out, I could hear him chatting excitedly to his wife.

We left the small building and walked back to the car.

"So, now I know your secret, how you manage to convince people to do your biddings and all that. You give them free concert tickets," Hiro taunted and chuckled.

I snickered. "Actually, I rarely give out free tickets, but one has to use what weapon is at their disposal at the time. Don't you think?"

"You and your warfare philosophy," Hiro chimed and I rolled my eyes. He went on, "It was a really nice thing to do, K. And you got our concert back on track, you're the man."

"All in a day's work," I bragged and started the car.

"I'm hungry. How about we stop for lunch?" the guitarist suggested.

Hmm, it was almost noon after all this running around. "Okay," I agreed. Besides, I was in no rush to visit Tohm and I hadn't eaten breakfast. I decided to let Hiro pick the place since it was his idea. I followed his directions into an eerily familiar part of town. I blinked when I realized it was near _that_ place. The place I have tried to forget about all morning, until now...

I could feel that room, smell the burning candle smell—hear his voice, that touch of his hand

The watcher.

Violets...

I was gripping the steering wheel like a vice without realizing it.

"K, what's the matter? You look as pale as a ghost."

I snapped out of it when I heard Hiro speak. "N-nothing, I...don't worry about it. Um…why are we in this part of town?" I wondered totally baffled, keeping my eyes on the road so Hiro couldn't see my guilty expression.

"There's a place here with the best sushi that's not so far from work...I come here on the way home sometimes," Hiro explained easily.

I looked over at Hiro then. "I see, well, what were you doing around here in the first place?" I heard myself ask even before I could stop myself. I sighed. I had _no_ right to ask Hiro that.

I could feel Hiro's eyes on me, searching, daunting. I felt the heat warm my face before I could turn my head away fast enough. I felt prickles on my skin, as if Hiro was reading my dirty mind. Reading my memories of last night, as if he could see me strapped to that old wooden chair.

"K, why are you getting all worked up? I don't care if you've ever been around here and you shouldn't care if I was either. I'm not your enemy and I'm not going to judge you. I'm your friend…I'll listen if you ever need to talk."

I blinked at Hiro. Talk? How did that come up when all I'd asked was why he was in this area in the first place. And 'worked up', was it so obvious that I was worked up? I was failing miserably at keeping appearances these days, wasn't I? But Hiro was right; I shouldn't care what he did on his own time that was his business!

Hiro sighed. "If you must know why I was down here, well, I found a cheap, used book store down here."

I faced Hiro now with my pink cheeks and all, "Of course books, why else would you be around here? Heh...I apologize for being rude." I felt really foolish now.

"Well, there aren't too many other reasons to be in this neighbourhood other than books, or…you know, sex," Hiro whispered dashingly, a glint in his eye.

"Or sushi!" I clamoured, trying to pretend I didn't hear that last part at all.

Hiro gave an amused scoff at that and said, "Yes, and for the sushi too."

After finding the sushi joint and taking a seat, we sat down to enjoy our lunch. My hunger won over the weird conversation in my car with Hiro. "Hey this is great...I never would have thought to come here for sushi. I love this deep fried nori roll, and this Japanese mayo with it, wow," I said in the midst of devouring another piece. It was pleasantly spicy and creamy, with a tiny crunch.

"I'm glad you enjoying it," Hiro offered and reached for a napkin and as he did his hand brushed over my hand.

I froze mid-chew and set my blue eyes on him. Again my body came alive like lightening bursting across the sky. It was the same feeling I had when Hiro was talking about my 'gun' earlier. But Hiro only apologized. I didn't realize it but I was watching him the whole time. Hiro brought the napkin to his perfect soft lips, pink tongue wetting them afterwards, lips moving over one another to spread the moisture...I felt my toes curl in my shoes.

"K…K? Hellooo?"

I blinked and focused on Hiro's steely grey eyes. I gave a feeble smile and swallowed with a gulp. Boy, Hiro must think I'm insane and that's not because Bad Luck tells me that on a regular basis. But like seriously off my rocker this time. When in doubt and strife I went to the one thing that distracts me at times like this, my gun. I decided I was finished eating, and started to meticulously clean my magnum with fine, lint-less cloth from my pocket.

"I'm stuffed, that was a great lunch. Thanks for suggesting the idea, Hiroshi," I said nicely.

"Is this something you do after lunch on a regular basis?" Hiro asked peculiarly, glancing around at the funny looks other patrons were casting our way. There were gasps even.

I ignored the funny looks, the murmurs. Really, who was going to mess with me while I was the one holding the gun? "I like to keep it clean; you never know when I might find the need to use it."

"Right... Are you edgy about something?" Hiro drilled.

"Nope," I said quickly. Like hell, my life is in shambles and my body is conspiring against me. _It's not so bad to like a guy, is it Claude? Hiro is kind of cute._ No way! I began a cheerful whistle as I cleaned the gun, taking it apart piece by piece.

"So how's Judy?" Hiro coolly asked.

I stopped cleaning and stared at him, my eyes glazing over as a deadpan look came over my face. I hadn't told Bad Luck about my divorce, didn't want to bother them with shit like that. But now, I felt my composure turn into a heaping pile of goo, "She left me."

I watched Hiro's expression at my revelation. I don't know why I told him, but I did. Hiro's face took on a slight surprised look, saddened, but not as surprised as I thought he would be though.

"I'm sorry," he says.

I shrugged and added, "I'm a lousy husband. I don't blame her, I was never around." I continued to polish my gun, careful to get in the grooves around the trigger.

"You're the most reliable person I know," Hiro says to me softly, "I doubt very much that you'd be a lousy husband."

Again I paused polishing and looked back up at Hiro. "I suppose."

"Don't 'suppose' me, it's true. Any man…I mean, woman, would be lucky to have you." Hiro tells me.

I smiled at that, his words made me feel a tiny bit better. "Ha, ha you almost said 'man' there, Hiro," I put in playfully. Hiro blushed this time and I looked on curiously.

"Can't help who you fall in love with, right?" Hiro says thoughtfully, taking a sip of his drink.

"No…I guess not," I heard myself murmur but I wondered what Hiro is getting at. The tension was getting a little intense, all this talk about love and reliability. I decided it was time to jet. "Come on let's get back to NG. Besides, I have a meeting with Tohma."

"Oh, well, you better not keep him waiting, huh?"

"As much as I'd like to, no, that wouldn't be a good idea. I can only avoid him for so long." I laughed and so did Hiro.

The trip back was quick and painless. No embarrassing comments or questions. I told Hiro that he was welcome to tag along with me anytime he wanted. It was like we built a tiny bond between us today. I even heard myself invite him to my place if he ever felt the need arise.

The gonging in my head was almost deafening as I thought about it. _I invited Hiro to my place!_ What was I thinking?! The intriguing part, though, was he accepted. The gonging got louder and I almost clamped my hands over my ears to quell it. Argh! We parted ways on the elevator, Hiro went back to the recording room to see Shuichi and I went to the top floor, dredging off to Tohma's office.

I knocked.

"Come in," went the president of NG, clearly.

I opened the door and stepped inside the grand office ___à la_ boss and watched the smaller man with hair more blonde than mine, stand up behind his desk.

"Good afternoon, boss," I say.

"Hello K, please do have a seat," he offered me.

I sat down and looked across at Tohma. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked without hesitation. I just wanted to get this over with A.S.A.P.

"Actually, K, I must apologize to you for being so remiss. I didn't realize you were having issues and..." He paused and I swallowed hard, I was getting a bad feeling here. He didn't know about last night in the recording studio, did he? My trigger finger began to twitch, but he continued, "I can tell you are not yourself lately."

I was speechless. It really was that obvious? The thought made me angry. I always figured I had more control of myself. "I…err..." I didn't know what to say for once.

"It's alright, everyone has hard times. I have dealt with a huge share myself, which is why I'm ordering you to take a break—for one month," Tohma said firmly, facing me with a careful stare.

"A vacation?! What, I don't need a break. Bad Luck is my life," I bemoaned.

"That's great and all, but that's _exactly_ why I'm ordering you to take a vacation. You're overworked and until recently, I didn't know about Judy. I wish you had come to talk to me... But, I understand you need your space, and I'm giving it to you now. Go on, you deserve it. You're the best thing that's ever happened to Bad Luck, we all know that. But everyone needs a break," he finished.

"You...you can't do this…" I whined. I know it was pitiful but what would I do with myself for a whole month?!

"I can and I will. This is not a suggestion it's an order," Tohma said unyielding.

I knew this was one battle I could not win. I stood wearing a frown, but I nodded with reserve. "So after today I guess?"

"As of right this instant you're on vacation. Isn't that swell?" Tohma beamed at me all happy and cheerful. He seemed like such a laid back person. But really he was a shark, laying in wait for the unexpected swimmer to dangle their legs in front of his maw. I knew something was up when I bumped into him this morning, _I just knew it!_

"Yeah…swell," I repeated forlornly and walked out the office sort of dazed. I guess my next stop was the recording studio, to tell Bad Luck that I was officially MIA as of now.

I wandered into the recording studio, were Shuichi and Hiro were seated and chatting. They both stopped and looked in my direction when I walked in.

"Heya," Hiro said pleasantly, an easy smile set upon his lips, "How'd your meeting with Tohma go?"

"_Meeting with Tohma_?" Shuichi repeated as if the very idea gave him shivers. I completely understood.

Sighing, I told them, "I'm being ordered to take a vacation for a whole month."

"You're playing another one of your jokes on us, right?" Shuichi started but the look on my face must have told him I was not joking this time. "He's not joking."

"Nope," I assured.

"When does it start, tomorrow?" Hiro asked, surprise all over his face.

"As of this instant," I said mocking Tohma's words.

"But why?" Shuichi wondered.

Hiro and I shared a fleeting look, but I cast my eyes away first and muttered, "The boss says I work too much, heh."

Shuichi just looked puzzled by that.

"Well, we don't have too much stuff planned since we have this album to do," the guitarist said, raking his fingers through his lustrous hair.

"True," I said, "But I still expect to be kept updated."

Hiro winked at me.

For some reason that made me blush and I twisted away deciding a little knob on the recording equipment was suddenly fascinating. I twirled it with my finger and a high-pitched noise screeched over the speakers.

"K!" Shuichi and Hiro cried, covering their ears.

I felt like I grew a pair of donkey ears, "Opps, sorry..."

Shuichi started giggling gleefully, "This means you won't be picking me up randomly in the morning for a whole month threatening to shoot me! Wooo!"

I smirked menacingly at Shuichi then. "Well, if you miss it that much it can still be arranged." Drat, that was one thing I was going to miss. I loved mornings showing up unannounced and pretending to be the Shuichi's alarm clock. The look of the singer's face was always priceless.

Laughing at us Hiro said, "I'm sure a month will fly by so just relax, have some fun...try something new."

"Heh, yeah, something new…" I trailed off and stopped, recalling where I heard those words before. Hrmph, new things had brought me nightmares. I smiled faintly remembering Violet had said those very same words to me.

"Don't worry we won't let you turn into a vegetable, K. I'll make sure we come to harass you," promised Shuichi, patting me on the arm.

I chuckled at his words. I found I could almost look him in the eye, almost. "Thanks, I guess." I sighed. "Well, see ya guys later. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That means all normal things...then, I'm sure we'll be fine," Shuichi joked.

I sniffed at that.

"Take care, K..." Hiro said to me earnestly.

"Thanks..." I said half-heartedly and broke the gaze. Normally, I wouldn't mind a vacation, but with the way I felt, I didn't want to be alone. Work was a good distraction and I figured I'd get over my problem in time.

I left the studio feeling like an outcast.

* * *

**Reviewers:**

**kayakun:** Yay! Thanks for the comments and I'm thrilled you're enjoying this!

**secret25:** Oh don't worry K will end up back at Violet's place, he just has to figure things out. This is a short story so it won't take very long lol! As for Hiro working there, well, there is no real purpose other than he's discovered a kinky side, perhaps a little OOC'ness and fanservice for us fangirls, or boys -winks- As I mentioned, this was an odd fic on my roster haha! Thanks for reading hun!

**bitbyboth: **LOL! Yes, the first person thing really works for this fic. I wrote it so long ago, but I recall trying to figure out how it should sound. K as first person was intimidating at first, but it fell into place once I warmed up XD A lot of this fic could be classified as OOC, but it was fun to write and strange. I love strange. Thanks hun for the review!

**Nanamii-chan:** HA! I'm glad you're liking this strange facking tale LOL! It really is different in a twisted way XD I hope you continue to enjoy this short fic. It's only 6 chapters. Your comments are always appreciated -hugs-


	4. Hiroshi and the Watcher

Part 4

**Hiroshi and the Watcher**

A week into my 'vacation' I sat at my small kitchen table, drumming my fingers over the wooden surface, admiring my apartment which was now, spotless.

I was so utterly bored that I cleaned every inch of the place and now found myself looking for another project to keep me occupied. I had watched most of my favourite movies, cleaned my entire arsenal, and made a point of loafing around in my underwear. All I went out for was for food and beer. My phone had rung a few times, once was Judy's lawyer the other was Sakano asking questions about certain business matters.

I did call NG a few times, but Tohma called me back and said if I did it again, he'd extend my 'vacation'. Hrmph. No one from Bad Luck had called me.

I guess they were giving me my space I thought and yawned lazily...dammit! All this having nothing to do was making me lethargic. Maybe exercise would do me good, I thought. I could go for a run through the park down the street. Yeah! I could already feel the blood pumping in my veins and I hurried to find my pair of black track pants, the ones with the white stripe down the leg. I got dressed, zipped up my old, grey college hoodie, and slipped on a pair of sneakers that hadn't met the light of day in years. With my hair already tied up, I grabbed my MP3 player and left my apartment. I walked the whole way there so I could warm up my muscles—God forbid I pull something and end up limping home. I snorted at the absurdity.

It was early evening so the sun was just starting to set, which made it calm and quiet seeing as most people were going home to supper and families. It was spring so it was still a tad cool, I was glad I wore the sweater.

I found some Billy Idol tracks to listen to and took off running at an easy pace.

From one end of the park and back, I ran off all the steam I felt boiling inside me. The chaos in my mind didn't seem so bad anymore. I felt I could reflect without feeling so defensive right now. Even the events at Violet's seemed to become something I could scoff about now. So what was a little kinky place to get a spanking, it was nothing, nothing at all... I laughed out loud at the memory as I ran still not ready to give up just quite yet.

But then my thoughts shifted and my mind focused on someone unexpected, Hiroshi.

I came to a sudden halt, my breathing steady and hard. I felt butterflies in my stomach, just as I felt each time I thought about him, which was into the thousands by now. As much as I tried to not make it an issue, he haunted me as well as that mysterious watcher. Ever since that day Hiro tagged along with me and we had lunch together, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I grunted and took off running again, feeling spurred to run myself into the ground if I had to, to quell these thoughts. I truly felt like my sexuality was at stake here and it had me reeling.

Was I depraved?

Was I lonely?

Was I on the rebound?

There is no way I could be bisexual! No way that I could be attracted to either of them, Hiro or the watcher. Maybe Violet, the watcher, Yuki and Shuichi, Hiro...maybe they planted the seed in my mind and now it was taking over like a body snatcher, like some kind of parasite. Cloning me to be someone else, a new life that looked like me but was really a gay clone.

What am I so afraid of...?

The question was always lingering in my mind. Would it seem like I wasn't a tough guy no more, because I might actually like the feel of another man's lips on mine? That's so stupid! I ran even faster, everything before me a blur...my heart pumped so hard I couldn't even taste Hiro's name on the tip of my tongue anymore.

I couldn't even hear the music from my player...I just ran full force.

But my body began to protest, my lungs burned, the muscle in my thighs were threatening to seize. And that's when I stopped and I screamed! All my frustrations came pouring out of me.

A few people stared at me but quickly turned around and rushed off the opposite way. I didn't care. I sunk into a hunch and placed my head into my hands, catching my breath. I calmed down and stood back up. I had to keep moving or I wouldn't be able to get back up. I began to walk back to the other end of the park. I ripped the earphones out and indulged in the evening silence. I don't understand why I'm letting stuff get to me; I have to stop acting like such a pansy. I scoffed at myself. _Just admit it Claude, you have a little crush on Hiro._

Maybe...just a little.

I smiled.

Wow! _Damn..._I felt really good now!

I was drenched with sweat, oxygen flowing through me—that lethargic feeling now dissipated. I forgot how invigorating running could be and made a promise to myself to do it more often. Feeling better than I had in days, I headed for home. I ran up the stairs two at a time and walked down the hall, but I stopped and blinked.

There was someone leaning against my door. "Ryuichi?" I said, "What are you doing here?"

"K!" he sang cheerfully, "Ooh, you went running. Did you have a good time?" the suave Nittle Grasper singer asked me, eyeing my clothing. "This is a good look on you...you look all hot and sweaty."

I chuckled. "It was great; I blew off a lot of steam. What brings you here?" I wondered and noticed Kumagoro clipped to his belt. I scanned him over and I had to say Ryuichi was aging with perfection, I felt a bit jealous. He was only four years younger than me and looking pretty good in his tattered jeans and loose button-up shirt.

"Can't I come visit my old manager, or aren't we friends anymore?" he asked me with a touch of hurt on his voice.

"Of _course_ we're friends," I said without hesitation.

He smiled brightly. "I heard you got put on vacation against your will, so, I thought I'd come by and see how you were doing," Ryuichi offered.

"I'm bored out of my mind, that's how I'm doing. Come on in," I told him and he pushed himself off the door and allowed me to open it.

He followed me inside and ran to my fridge, "Got any soda?"

I laughed at his blatant intrusion, his nose in my fridge and arse in the air. "Sure bottom shelf."

"Want one?"

"Sure," I took the can of soda and popped it open and drank half the can in one go. We stood in the kitchen, me a perspiring mess. "I should take a shower. Do you mind?"

"Of course not, me and Kumagoro will snoop through your movie collection," Ryuichi said and bounced off to my livingroom.

I shook my head, smiling. Silly Ryuichi, but truly I was thrilled to see him. Quickly, I went to the bathroom and stripped out of my sweaty clothes and turned on the faucets. I tested the water with my toes, it was at a nice hot temperature and I stepped in and sighed languorously—wicked nice. I soaked my hair and frowned when I realized I'd forgotten to take out the damn hair tie. It would be a pain now that my hair was wet. I struggled with the hair tie when I felt a draft flow into the room. But I shrugged uncaring, to content in the deluge of warm water to bother. Closing my eyes I moaned with delight, truly feeling tranquil for once. I managed to remove the tie and tossed it out of the shower aimlessly. I reached for the shower gel and began to soap myself, taking my time, even scrubbing my face.

When I turned to wash the soap off, I felt a pair of hands snake around my midsection. My eyes flew open, soap got in them and I instinctively reached for my gun, but stupid me…I'm naked! No gun.

I spluttered into the spray to get the soap out of my eyes and spun around and gaped. It was Ryuichi!

"Sssh, don't say anything, just let me alright?" he said his voice low and soft.

My head was spinning, my breath felt hitched in my throat. I couldn't say anything anyways. Swallowing hard, I let my eyes soak up Ryuichi's naked masculine form. Long limbs, smooth, tight stomach and a raging hard-on—everything a Nittle Grasper fan would kill to see...I squeezed my eyes shut and found my voice again.

"Sakuma, I'm not…we can't," I stumbled, my face burning red.

"K, don't give me that…you need me. You can't hide it," he whispered gently, playing with the wet hair trailing down my back.

I could feel his wet body pressed against mine, I sighed without control. Oh man, this isn't happening! I can't be getting turned on by this. But my dick about-faced; it twitched and ached with treacherous want.

"Why me?" I murmured. I never knew Ryuichi had a thing for me.

"I was feeling lonely tonight and I thought about you. I wanted to touch your hair...it's so pretty, like gold corn silk," was his explanation. "Pfft, I've told you that tons of times, silly."

I rolled my eyes. Yeah...Ryuichi *blush* liked to play with my hair, even when I was his manager. I even let him braid it once because he thought it would be fun...

He continued to play with my wet hair, combing fingers down my back where the hair ended at the base of my spine. Fuck, it felt good. It felt so good that I suddenly felt a wave of guilt. My mind abruptly went to Hiroshi and then the mysterious watcher from Violets. Even though I had no idea who the man at Violet's was...

Ryuichi's pleasurable attack on me continued. I wanted to put up a fight but I couldn't help myself. I soaked up the touches and the kisses, I needed them _so_ badly. Tomorrow I'd worry about it, tomorrow, I'd feel the infamy.

Leaving myself behind, as if I was stepping out of my own body, I threw myself into the spiralling, bottomless pit. My eyes closed and my hands began to move, I felt into Ryuichi's hair, glided my hands along his backside. I moaned softly, he really did feel so good.

This encouraged Ryuichi and he lifted his mouth from my neck. I stared at his wet, parted lips. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes as his lips found mine.

He kissed me...

My world bent on the axis, everything felt as though it went in slow motion. I felt every nuance; I could hear my own beating heart, feel each droplet of water beating off my shoulders. I whimpered, the debate of my torment still arguing with me. I opened my eyes and for an instant I saw Hiroshi looking back at me. I gasped into the kiss, my eyes wide and almost broke away, but stopped...I—I wanted this. I wanted to kiss Hiroshi more than anything I realized. I squeezed my eyes shut again, hoping to keep Hiro's image behind my lids. Suddenly, I was kissing back, kissing with an untapped urgency. I could feel his tongue, mmm, so warm and wet and soft in my mouth. I mewled, feeling his hands run over my body, over my ass.

"Ooooh…_Hiro…_" I moaned and realized what I just said in stark revelation. Had I said that out loud?!

Ryuichi froze and pulled away, gaping at me with sheer amusement.

My eyes focused on the soap dish.

"Heee heee heee!" Ryuichi squealed, "You have a crush on Hiro-kun!" I looked at him then, he had a huge smirk on his face.

I couldn't exactly share his enthusiasm. "I'm sorry…I can't believe I just did that—that was rude of me," I heard myself rambling a little hysterically.

"K, really it's alright, I won't say anything. I'm not in love with you or anything. I just wanted some nooky and thought I'd come over here and break your cherry," Ryuichi said mischievously and giggled.

Eh_…? _

_Break my cherry..._

The look on Ryuichi's face—I couldn't stop myself I started to laugh. I laughed so hard it hurt. I laughed until tears streamed down my face. Ryuichi began to laugh too. Here we were a couple of twits, completely naked and in my shower, laughing.

"Oh, man you kill me! Here I was for the last two weeks worrying that I'm a depraved pervert, wondering if it's against my nature to feel attracted to a man, and you just decided to come over here—out of the blue—and break my cherry, huh?" I said like it was some grand scheme to convert me with fairy dust or something. There was no doubt that Ryuichi would just decide something like that spontaneously. He was just that sort of person anyways.

"I was just doing what I felt like," Ryuichi answered simply.

I nodded and decided to spill my guts about Yuki and Shuichi.

Ryuichi began to snicker evilly. "Oh, you caught them too?! I wondered if anyone else had. They think no one knows, but, I've seen them go at it a few times. It's fun!"

I gaped. No way! Ryuichi was a pervert too...I couldn't measure the amount of relief I felt with this acknowledgment. Still, it wasn't like I was going to go looking for them again in the recording studio, once was enough.

"It's alright K, why do you worry so much? Just do what makes you feel good, that's what I do. Don't fight it, if you want Hiroshi, go get him. Just let it go," Ryuichi murmured next to my ear.

So I did, I let it go, point blank. I shoved pass Ryuichi and ran out of the bathroom and out onto my tiny balcony. There, I yelled out to the whole world while dripping water all over the floor, "I'M GAY!!"

"Good for _you_!" I heard a sarcastic voice come from down below where a group of guys were hanging out on park bench. One of them gave me a thumbs up, they all snickered.

Hrmph, they'd pay for that later. Too excited to pay them much mind I turned to go back inside, but Ryuichi was at the patio door, totally naked and chuckling at my nonsense.

"I believe the word would be bisexual," Ryuichi corrected me and grinned, "The best of both worlds."

I hadn't thought of it that way. "Um, so, what happens now?"

"I didn't know you actually _liked_ someone. So...I don't want to take your first time away from him," he explained, watching me closely.

He had a point. If we fucked it would just be for carnal pleasure, which isn't a bad thing, but I did call out Hiroshi's name after all. "Yeah, I understand. But you were willing to have me before that and steal my anal virginity," I teased, smirking at him.

Ryuichi grinned back slyly, "Yeah I was, and it's almost a shame that I won't get it either. You have no idea K...Hiro is a lucky guy."

I waved him off goofily. "Well, I'm not sure what to say except, thanks," I told him sincerely. Truly, Ryuichi only understood honesty and he came in for me when I needed it most.

"Go finish your shower, I'm going to get dressed," Ryuichi said.

"Okay," I answered softly.

I returned to the still running shower and washed my hair before I got out this time. I found a fresh towel. After drying off, I tossed on a bathrobe and wandered into the livingroom.

Ryuichi wasn't there. I called out, but he didn't reply, I checked the kitchen to see if he was busy raiding my cupboards. That's when I noticed a note on the fridge…

I snatched it up and read...

_Stole a soda for the road. K go find yourself. Don't live life in the dark…live it under the spotlight! _

_Luv Ryu and Kuma_

Spoken by a man that literally lived under a spotlight, I thought wryly. I smiled at the poorly drawn dragons and the smiley faces he'd decorated all around the note. But inside I knew he was right. I placed the green sticky note back on the fridge.

I still felt a little fear about all this, though. I didn't feel brave enough to confront Hiroshi about how I felt yet. What if he just laughed at me? But Ryuichi's words on his note rang over and over in my mind. Find myself, eh? Hmm...

Quickly, I dashed to my bedroom and pulled on boxers and pair of jeans, tossed on a crisp button-up white shirt and grabbed my brown leather jacket. For the heck of it, I wore my sneakers again. I ran out to my car before I gave myself the opportunity to talk myself out of it.

I drove to Violets.

This time I ignored the hookers and took a deep breath and went inside. It was quiet like the first time I came here. I walked into the sitting room area, tonight I noticed a quiet, demure looking Japanese man sitting on one of the couches. Then I saw Violet and all her imperial glory, her eyes widened with surprise at the sight of me, but her face quickly softened to a smile.

"You came back. I _knew_ you would," she claimed pragmatically.

"I think I understand what it is you do here now. Is the same watcher here tonight? Can I see him?"

"Delightful, yes, yes he is. How intriguing…" she stated thoughtfully.

"I want to find myself and tonight I finally realized this place could help me," I told her honestly.

She smiled brilliantly this time and nodded with understanding. "My, my, already you demonstrate an altered persona, please follow me sweetie."

We took the same route as before, down the stairs and into the dismal hallway with six doors. Again we stopped at number five. I handed the woman my gun and she once again put the blindfold over my eyes. I took another deep breath. I don't know why I thought that this place would give me answers, but I somehow felt this was the place to be.

I was led inside and guided to that old wooden chair.

I sat.

I waited.

There were no sounds for a few solid minutes. I started to tap my fingers noisily under the seat of the chair.

"Stop that."

It was him, the watcher. I ceased the tapping and didn't oppose when he strapped me to the chair once more. My heart pounded in my chest, partly from the unknown. This time was so different. I came here very willingly and gave no resistance.

I wondered what Hiro would think of this, but I didn't want to think about that, couldn't. He'd probably be appalled. Wait, I'm not even dating him or anything, but the loyal side of me felt conflicted. This place, though—I somehow felt as if this were my testing ground, a place to test new flavours, a way to find the courage to actually confront Hiro. It really didn't make any sense, but I had nothing to lose. I didn't even try to stop the smile that came to my face.

"You seem kind of happy tonight. A contrast from last time you were here," said my watcher incredulously, his voice still muffled like—damn! I wish I could see his face!

"Someone inspired me tonight and I want to find myself, so here I am," I explained, remembering not to talk out of turn. Even though the thought of getting smacked didn't seem to bother me as much this time, because I was willing to accept that it was part of the game. My grin turned into a smirk.

I heard the man 'hrmph'. And I listened to the footfalls of his heavy boots stop in front of me. I raised my head slightly as if facing him, I knew he staring at me.

"Inspired, eh?" he went, "I can't imagine who could produce this kind of miracle," he said, amused. "But I must admit I feel a little jealous."

I blinked rapidly behind the blindfold. I couldn't help but revel in the fact that my watcher was jealous! Nya, nya. "Well, I...I have him to thank for making me see how stupid I've been, for seeing that love with man is no different than love with a woman," I said in a rush.

Suddenly I heard something snap, like a stick being broken over a knee. I jumped!

"Did you have _sex_ with this man?!" growled the watcher.

I gulped at the tone of his voice, "No…I couldn't—he couldn't."

"Why?"

"Well, I like someone else. Heh, I called out his name in the middle of it...it made everything so perfectly clear," I answered carefully.

There was a long, dreadfully painful silence.

Finally, I heard him shuffle around me and come to a stop from behind. "This 'someone', are they someone close to you?" he asked as his fingers began to pull out my ponytail gently.

I stiffened. "Yes, I work with him..." I hesitated, wondering if I should just spill or not. But I was so excited to be sharing my revelation that I just ploughed on ahead. "He's talented and smart; he has a great sense of humour. He's gorgeous...I never seen a guy with grey eyes like his before. But the funny thing is—I never really noticed him like this until recently. Maybe it was because I was married then...I had no reason to stray and I wasn't looking." I couldn't believe how I was blabbering on so freely.

The hair stroking stopped. The man let out a small, "Heh."

"Do you _really_ know him, K?" he questioned me.

How was I supposed to answer that? "I'm sure he has his secrets, don't we all?" I countered.

"Indeed we do," he replied. "So why don't you tell him how you feel?"

"Oh no, I can't. What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he just laughs at me?" I wondered. I didn't want to admit but I was terrified of telling Hiroshi.

"Oh, I don't know about that," said the watcher smugly. "Maybe he likes you too and wants to touch you like this," he murmured and brushed a gloved hand over my cheek and then ran it down my front.

I shivered and closed my eyes. I could only wish Hiro would touch me that way.

"Maybe he's been thinking about you for a _very_ long time," the mysterious watcher suggested. "Maybe, he wants to do all kinds of naughty things to you." The watcher chuffed wickedly.

Oh? I chuckled at his remark. I felt something being dragged over my thighs and up over my chest, then glide over my face. It felt like a bunch of soft laces and as I inhaled I caught the scent of leather. A whip! Probably the cat-o-nine type...heh, I'd seen it on T.V once watching some dirty late night movie.

Goose bumps formed over my skin.

But listening to this man, I wondered what my fascination was for him. Was it the mystery of it all, the impersonal approach? His alluring tone, or the way he was making me feel, it was so hard to deny. "But our ages are so far between. It would be wrong of me." It was a nagging thought I hadn't been able to ignore.

"Age is a number, a useless number. Love has no limits," he replied. He stepped away and I heard his footsteps come around front again. In fell swoop he sat over my thighs, straddling me. He leaned into me and whispered, "I kind of like older men."

Oh gawd!

"You're so beautiful, but I can make you hurt," he promised sweetly. I can sense his face only a breath away, hear his own breathing rushing against the mask, feel his arms resting over my shoulders and holding onto the chair back behind me. Behind my blindfold my eyes are wide and blinking rapidly.

"I thought this wasn't about sex?" I heard myself ask despite being wrapped up in this sensual moment.

"Who says we're having sex? I want to reward you for being brave enough to return to me," the man says in a sultry voice.

I have to admit this guy is driving me crazy. I want to touch him, but I can't move my arms. Damn. All I can do is let him make the moves. "I guess this is better than a sticker in my school book," I teased, making fun of myself. I smirked lightly to the face that was so close to mine.

"See how easy things are when you're not fighting with yourself, K?" he asked and ground himself against me. "I'm so horny right now…I could just fuck you right here against your will, and you couldn't do a damned thing about it." He chuckled roguishly. "I could make you beg…" he purred in my ear.

Holy hell in heaven, I think I might blitz in my pants. I couldn't say anything, I just concentrated on breathing. Mmm, and his scent was nice; once again it gave me the feeling of déjà vu. It seemed familiar somehow. Then the watcher was still for a moment, but I heard faint rustling in front of me, straight ahead. He was touching his mask. What was he doing?!

I flinched when his lips touched my face, he kissed my cheek, my jaw in a gentle languid way, I couldn't help it, I moaned at the intimacy.

"Is this being unfaithful to Hiroshi?"

The man chuckled and replied airily, "Nah, I'm sure he won't mind."

I wasn't entirely sure about that but I was here to find myself and I was going to do it! Broaden my horizons and all that crap. I was going to find the courage to tell Hiro how I felt. Maybe I could just hold Hiro at gunpoint and force him to listen to all I had to say. I contemplated...it might be easier that way. Mmm, then I could keep him prisoner, my hostage, and take him every night. I almost giggled at my sinful thoughts. But my attention returned to my watcher who was breathing next to my ear.

"Would you like me to kiss you?" he asked with slight playfulness, drawing a leather fingertip over my lips.

I quelled the thoughts that my watcher was a beastly man. In my mind I pictured him handsome, lean...sort of like Hiroshi. I nodded, 'yes'.

"Good, but first you have to endure a little pain for it, like a good boy," he whispered with glee.

And so the game began.

His hand loosened the restraint across my chest and undid a few buttons on my shirt. Then with an un-gloved hand I felt him slip it under my shirt and over my heaving chest. I sighed at the contact, until his fingers pinched my nipple.

"Oww!"

"Mmm, that's it. Beg me for that kiss," the watcher's devilish voice went and slid his hand to my other nipple and twisted it assiduously.

I didn't want to give in so easily, so I grit my teeth and held in my grunt of pain. But instead of being turned off like I thought I might, I felt my cock twitching against my watcher. I bucked my hips up as if to say 'Give me all you got!' But no pain came and the man strapped me to the chair again.

I felt him wash his hands across my face and into my hair, "I've waited for this moment for such a long time, and now, you're all mine," he murmured so softly I barely heard it.

"Please…" I begged.

"Yes..." the watcher approved before his lips touched mine ever so delicately. I heard his breath hitch as if I'd shocked him…I closed my eyes behind the blindfold and kissed him back.

Gradually our mouths began to move over each other, the kiss becoming more urgent. It was glorious, hot.

"I want to come," he whispered breathlessly over my lips.

The watcher was grinding against me, his hands now gripped into my hair, the chair squeaking in protest beneath us. I moaned at the friction and opened my mouth for more. At once he invaded and our tongues slipped over one another. I knew that if we didn't stop this very soon I might come too. But stopping seemed out of the question as I drowned myself in this stranger's kiss. He tasted so good and I drank him down, let him hump against me.

There was no control and I felt myself on the verge of crashing. "Oh, K-san," the watcher straddling me let out in a shaky whimper, clinging to me as he shuddered, fingers griped almost painfully in my hair. His pleasure sounds made me lose it and I let out jagged breaths as I rode my own climax like a wave.

"Wow," my watcher panted, huffing with disbelief, "I don't know what came over me. That was awesome!"

I decided right now wasn't a good time to point out that I thought that this wasn't about sex. Instead I rest my head back as if in defeat, who was I kidding?

The watcher got off of me and said, "You know, normally I don't allow a seeker to see me so soon but I want you to."

Whoa! I was going to finally see who I've been talking to! I felt a bit nervous all of the sudden. Was I going to lose all the anonymity of this now? Slowly, I felt him untying the knot behind my head—the cloth fell to my lap and I blinked. My eyes adjusted to the dim light and I stared at the looming dark figure in front of me. Little by little, my eyes focused and I could see a man in a long, draping black cloak, hood up and hanging mysteriously over his forehead, facing my direction. I guessed he was looking at me as I stared at the mask on his face, a full-faced inky black number. It was like the kind you see at one of those masquerades. I searched for his eyes, but they were hidden in the shadows of the mask, the light so poor in here that I could barely see them, except a tiny spot of light reflected in his pupil.

I tore my eyes off of him to search out the source of that light. In the corner of small room, which I noticed resembled the hallway outside, bare stone walls and concrete floor, I saw a tall gothic candlestick bearing three thick white candles.

But my eyes flashed back at my watcher, who stood as still as stone. I let my eyes travel over his form, over his taut chest that I realized was totally bare underneath the cloak that was loosely knotted at his collarbone. Finally, I took in the black leather pants that fit like a perfect pair of jeans and the heavy engineer boots on his feet.

The man before me looked deliciously fierce, menacing even.

I felt relief to see that he wasn't a Bigfoot at all, but someone with a really hot body at least. I sighed thankfully seeing as I'd just finished making out with him. He swished something in his hand and my eyes darted to the whip held tightly in this gloved hand.

"Consider this a privilege," he said from behind the mask.

"Doesn't really make a different, does it? I still can't see your face. But, I do dig the getup." I dug it alright, eyeing the man's tight navel and chest again. "Are you going to get in trouble for showing yourself to me?" I wondered, looking up at his masked face once more. He wasn't as tall as I had initially thought.

He scoffed, "I hope not. It's not a good idea to displease the mistress."

"Yeah, I sorta overheard…once," I offered quietly, remembering the first time I came here.

"You know our conversations are being observed," the watcher said.

Really? I looked around; sure enough there was a camera in the corner of the room. How kinky I thought. I wondered if the old woman got off watching. "Heh, well let her watch if it turns her crank."

"I feel no shame so it doesn't matter if she watches or not. Actually," he came a bit closer, "It kind of turns me on. Sometimes, the people that come here come only to watch us."

"You mean…someone other than Violet could be watching us too?"

"Could be," replied the watcher.

My eyes shifted around uneasily, my face burned. I just came while someone watched me?!

"It doesn't bother you at all?" I questioned, exasperated.

The watcher came to kneel in front of me, his hands on my knees. "It takes some time to get used to...I've only been here for two weeks. But I didn't find it so hard to do, it's not like I've done this with any other seeker before, you're my first." He chuckled as if he'd allowed himself a slip-up tonight. "You just turned me on. I blame you entirely."

I let out an incredulous huff. I glanced around uneasily again.

"Forget about them," the watcher insisted, standing back up. He began to walk around my chair. "I'm sad…I barely got to thrash you tonight."

I guffawed. I watched him swish the tails of the whip, drawing them over my legs each time he moved in front of me. I wished I could see his face, it was driving me crazy! This whole surreal endeavour was boggling yet so intoxicating.

Suddenly our time was up, I heard Violet's voice.

"Wow time went by so fast!" I cried.

"It does when you're having fun," he replied cheekily.

The man unbuckled me from the chair and I stood. I yearned to touch him, but I knew I wasn't allowed to. I headed for the door and got whipped across the ass. I yelped, grabbing my left cheek and spun around on the cloaked figure that was standing cross-armed, twirling the whip in his hand haughtily.

"Goodnight K, don't be a stranger now. I'm here three nights a week, Thursday to Saturday unless something comes up," he said.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" I asked still rubbing my smarting tush.

"I'd be heartbroken if you didn't."

I gave a soft chuckle. "Goodnight…whoever you are."

"Say hello to Hiroshi for me," he sang.

"Um...yeah, I'll be sure to get right on that," I replied mockingly and left the room, my laughter following after.

* * *

**Reviewers: **

**lil1diva **- Wee! Thanks for your reviews! Haha, yes Hiro can flirt. Haven't you noticed that in the anime and the manga? Lulz! It's what I love about Hiroshi, he's smart, sexy, he has balls, and he can be the sweetest, most loyal guy! What a package! Ahem, right, so thanks again for the lovely comments!

**kayakun** - Nya! Your POV comment makes my DAY! NIGHT! YEAR! When I think of writing in K's POV I don't think of elegance at all lol! I'm so happy you feel as if K is narrating -squee- Thanks for your comments hun! -ambush gromp-

**secret25** - Hehe! I love a blushing K too. And he totally blushes in the manga...tis so cute lol!! Manga K is SO much better than anime K, oh yes. Wee! I'm glad you're still enjoying the fic...wonder what people will think of this chapter -cough, snort, cough- XD It's the cold medication... Thanks hun! Oh...and this fic is 6 chapters. Only two left.

**bitbyboth **- I know! K on vacation on his will, he didn't even get himself suspended or something cool like that XD Funny tho, it wasn't Hiro that came by to visit :P Lots of odd things happened in this chapter lol! Thanks for reading hun!

**Nanamii-chan** - Hiro has some kind of courage as that watcher, eh? But I know -I- enjoy it lol! XD Not to worry K took care of himself...falling over himself with hot guys on his mind XD Teee! I read your ficage...going to review after I finish here. Much love for your thoughts!


	5. Closer

Part 5

**Closer**

Another week went by and each night my watcher was available, I spent at Violet's.

I'm starting to think that I'm growing too fond of my watcher, or he is growing fond of me, because our conversations are those that involve few words. How the hell did I go from being so alone, to being torn between two men? Even though I keep expressing how much I thought I was being unfaithful to Hiro, my watcher reminded me that I wasn't dating him yet, and that I should just 'chill out'. Easy for him to say, I thought.

It also made me wonder if he thought that once I told Hiro how I felt that I wouldn't come back—that we couldn't play this game anymore. The kinky fun would be over.

That's when I worried that this whole thing might have gone too far...

I must say, though, that I'm getting used to the pain. In fact I think it turns me on, the acts of S&M are not too hardcore, which I'm fairly thankful for, but tolerant. We role-play mostly, with a little pain. I was surprised how quickly I fell into the masochistic role, enjoyed it. It was kind of refreshing to let someone else be in charge for a change. But, I still wasn't sure how comfortable I felt knowing that people could be watching this.

It was Friday night.

I sat obediently in the chair, my shirt opened, wearing the blindfold. I still wore it when the watcher told me to. But tonight, he hadn't restrained me, yet. I could freely move my arms and hands, I could stand, but I sat. My watcher hadn't given me permission to do any of those things.

Instead he decided to tickle me with a feather, his whip or his tongue. There were lick trails still drying on my chest...I felt a bit humiliated, which I'm sure was his goal as I squirmed and screeched with the torture of the feather.

It drove me nuts! But he told me that if I went to rub the areas he'd tickled with my hands, that he'd spank me in front of everyone. The thought of being spanked made my cock twitch, but I the idea of doing so in front of a camera, didn't.

Tears leaked out the corner of my eyes, my nose itched so badly.

"Poor baby," he cooed, "Should I stop?"

I nodded, "Yes Watcher." I must have said this a hundred times already.

"Okay..." he finally surrendered, "You can scratch."

I did so and groaned like a bear while I did it.

The watcher stood by shaking his head. "I still think I'm going to spank you though…"

My head darted up.

"Stand up and drop your pants," the watcher ordered.

What? This was the first time I was being ordered to bare my ass. So far most of the sadistic things he did were mild in comparison to other things I knew he could do. But, baring myself—with the possibility that there was someone sitting in a dark room in front of a blinking blue screen watching this—well, that was a whole new ballgame. For once I wished we had privacy, and knew that no one was watching or that Violet wasn't listening in, then I'd be more than willing to let him spank me, and naked it he asked me of it.

I hesitated.

I felt the hair on my head yanked and more water filled my eyes. "O-_kay…_." I griped and stood up to undo my pants, letting them fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. "There, have a good fucking look!"

I was sure my arse was the same crimson shade as the one on my face.

"Now go face the wall, hands up," he ordered.

I shuffled to the wall blindly and planted my hands on it. It felt cold and rough, dusty. I squeezed my eyes shut in anticipation of pain I was about to feel. I twitched when the tails of the whip simply caressed over my skin.

"You're so jumpy," purred the watcher in my ear, his body pressed up behind me now.

I could feel his cloak brushing the backs of my legs, his chest pressed to my back. He felt so good and it was now or never that I knew had to make a choice.

Then I felt him move away.

The whip cracked over my skin and I cried out. It stung. I clenched my bottom and lowered my head as if in disgrace. The unpredictability of the receiving pain was the most annoying part. I never knew when to feel ready for it. The watcher came back and licked my ear. I sighed at my reward. But next time I'd be ready, I gritted my teeth. The next lash came and I held on to my cry like a trooper.

"No cry, no reward," went my watcher.

He hit me again but still I didn't cry out. Stubborn, I didn't reward the man at all, nor did I receive mine.

"I'm not so easily submissive," I told him, "I mean, if someone did this to me without my permission, they'd be lucky I didn't blow their brains out."

"Because you like it…I know I sure like it," he said eagerly and pet over my ass with his gloved hand.

The leather wasn't soothing at all it scraped and irritated my skin.

_Make a choice, Claude!_ "I was thinking…I'm going to talk to Hiro," I blurted out. "I...I can't stay here in this fantasy world forever." My heart began to pound.

It was now or never.

The petting hand came to a stop and I heard him walk off. Great, I've upset him I thought and turned around. I couldn't see him, nor go to him because my touching him would be breaking the rules. I stood were I was, realizing my pants were at my ankles, I hurried to pull them up.

"Who said you are allowed to dress yet?!" he bellowed from across the room.

I startled and froze, leaving my pants alone.

I stood unmoving, unseeing, waiting for him to say something, anything that would justify his reaction right now. Then a breath later he stormed back and pinned me to the stone wall. I gasped. I could hear his heavy breathing whooshing against the underside of his mask.

"Are you _really_ ready to fess up?" he demanded, "Are you sure you aren't just going to go and break his heart? Because he needs _all_ of you, he needs you to accept him for everything that he is! He needs to know that."

I faltered at this tirade.

"Answer me!" he cried.

I found myself frowning down at the man that was screaming principles. "I don't want to break his heart…he can be anyone he wants to be, I'd expect the same in return," I whispered logically. Why was this guy getting so worked up?

The watcher still had me pinned and I lost my temper.

"He can have all of me!" I shouted heatedly, "All of me if he lets me!"

I was released from my watcher's grip. He backed off and began to pace the room. Quietly, he said, "He will."

"How can _you_ be so sure?!" I hollered incredulously.

There was a small pause. The masked man stood still, the pacing stopped half way across the dim room. "Call it a hunch," he said.

It ended there when Violet's voice told us our session was over in a tight tone. Was our whole hour already up? It didn't feel like it. I fixed my clothes and said goodnight to the watcher and left the room feeling totally bewildered. It was like that watcher was taking this Hiro thing way to personally.

When I got home I sighed with relief and kicked off my shoes. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and stood right there in the kitchen to drink it. I zoned out blissfully, trying not to think of anything before I headed off to bed.

The next day I woke up, shaking crazy dreams from the corners of my mind. I dreamt that I was at Violet's and in the room was Hiroshi. He was saying something to me but I couldn't hear it! I felt desperate to know what he was trying to tell me. Then suddenly we were in the studio at work and Hiro was playing a song for me on his guitar. The weird part was that everyone was there too, the boss, Bad Luck, Ryuichi, even the watcher. Hiro sang as if it were only the two of us, it was so sweet, but I felt a little embarrassed that everyone was watching it. It took a moment realize it was just a dream when I awoke.

I wish I could remember how the song went, even if it was my imagination. There was only one line I recalled that Hiro had sang, _"Please be with me..."_ The sound was foggy in my mind, still, I felt like I'd come to a conclusion because of it.

I had to be true and told myself tonight was going to be the last night at Violet's. I decided tonight I was going to tell my watcher that I no longer needed to come there. The thought tore at me, but after last night and that dream, I realized I would do _anything_ for Hiroshi...I would give him my all, it all...everything. Even if he rejected me, I would still know that in my heart I would have honestly given him my all.

Now if I could only stop the butterflies in my stomach...

"Stop being such a pussy, Claude," I chastised myself. "Just tell Hiro..._tell_ him."

I groaned and decided then that I was going to go shopping. I hadn't gone shopping in ages! I decided I would get myself new socks, running socks, and maybe even a nice new jacket. Oooo, maybe I'd get myself a new game system, because the one I had was insanely ancient. Yes! The idea of shooting stuff in high-def almost gave me chills. Why hadn't I thought of this before?!

Happy with my fresh distraction, I headed off to the mall.

Later in the day, I was sitting on my couch, a smoke dangling lazily from my lip, ash landing on the floor, mashing the buttons on my new gamepad. On the T.V screen zombies were getting blown away by my ex-Army guy equipped with a futuristic submachine gun.

I was in heaven!

My attention was broken when my phone started ringing. I groaned, hitting the pause button and got up to go get it. I took a seat in the kitchen chair and picked up the shrilling thing. "Hello?"

"Hi, K! What are you doing tonight?" clamoured Shuichi's voice.

"Oh hey! Um, I dunno," I lied and my mind flooded with thoughts about the dreaded last-time visit to Violet's this evening—the last night of my secret affair.

"Well, why don't you come out with us tonight? We're thinking of hitting up this club," he told me.

"I'd love to, when and where?"

I heard Shuichi talking to someone in the background, "Hiro, what's the name of this place again?" I heard him ask.

Hiro! My throat got tight suddenly and I struggled to clear it. I heard Hiro mumble something inaudibly in the background.

"Oh sorry K, I just forgot the name of the place, it's called Violets."

_CRASH! _

I shook the chirping, fuzzy yellow chicks from my vision...I'd tipped the chair backwards in my surprise; the phone tumbled across the floor. I scrambled to get it, crawling on my hands and knees.

"What?!" I cried into the phone when I snatched it up again, hoping Shuichi was still on the line.

"Err…is everything ok over there?" Shuichi asked me anxiously.

"Fine, err, I just…fell. So, _where_ is this place exactly?" I cut to the chase and waited breathlessly for his response.

"In Roppongi," Shuichi said, "It's a dance club." He gave me the address.

Phew! I let out an audible sigh of relief, the _other_ 'Violets' was closer to Shinjuku. I pursed my lips as I heard Hiro giggling in the background. _What was he laughing about?!_ Hrmph. "Okay, how about I meet you there?"

"Ten o'clock sound good?"

"Sure, see you then, bye." I hung up and shook my head. Damn, that was spooky. Who would have thought that there were two establishments in Tokyo called Violets?

I left the game on pause and decided to take a shower and freshen up.

Ack! What was I going to wear?! Hiro was going to be there and I kind of wanted to look good.

I decided to wear my blue, button-up shirt—I always thought it had nice contrast with my hair. I left a few buttons open at the top, rawr. Next, I found a pair black pants and tucked in my shirt and looped a silver-buckled, black belt around my waist. I grinned sheepishly at my reflection in the mirror. Gawd, I was a nervous, but I knew what I had to do tonight.

"Never mind that now," I told myself sternly and fixed my hair. Then I splashed on some new cologne I bought today and hunted down some shoes. I decided to forgo a jacket.

It was about nine o'clock now so I could go take care of business and meet everyone at the club afterwards. I grabbed my keys, but left the guns and headed out.

I think I puffed on about four cigarettes before I even got to Violets. This wasn't going to be easy I thought. I told myself I could just leave a message with Violet herself, but I decided against it. How impersonal would that be? It would be like getting dumped via Dear John letter or worse, over the phone. It was just plain wrong. I know this man wasn't my lover or anything, but it truly felt like I was ending a relationship of some kind.

I got out of the car and went inside.

Today Violet didn't have a smile for me I noticed. Instead her face was solemn and cool. I walked up to her but she spoke first.

"I'm sorry but your watcher is not here," she said looking at me carefully.

I blinked. "He's off tonight, you mean?" I asked.

She sighed, "No, I let him go permanently. He broke the number one rule I have for all watchers."

I was almost afraid to ask, "What rule did he break?"

"He fell in love with a seeker." She sighed again, "It happens sometimes."

My eyes shot open, 'in love'?! I didn't know what to say.

She smiled at me then like I was a dunce, "Silly, it was you..."

Me?? My mouth felt suddenly dry...I...I didn't know what to think. I felt wretched somehow; this wasn't how things were supposed to end. He loved me...the thought swirled repeatedly around in my mind. "But are you sure?" I asked Violet.

"Honey, I have been doing this a long time. And I know when I see love," she offered confidently and continued, "I can't give you his name or anything, you'll just have to find each other. Trust me...I'm quite sure you will."

She smirked at me then and I wondered what she knew that I didn't. It bugged me and I didn't even bring my gun along! If I had I would probably have it pointed at her right now, demanding she tell me everything she knows.

But I only nodded at the older woman before I left and went back to my car. I sat and wondered about all this, my hands clasped tightly on the steering wheel. I felt a bit guilty because I was going to tell the watcher I wasn't coming back, and now he was fired and no longer here. How ironic, I contemplated with a frown.

"Fucking hell," I cursed at this whirlwind drama bullshit and gunned the engine, tearing off to the other side of town. I had to bust-a-move if I wanted to meet Shuichi and gang on time. But I knew I was going to think about this all damn night now! I mean, it wasn't my fault the watcher fell in love with me, and he knew I was in love with somebody else.

What the fuck was Violet talking about?!

Argh!

There wasn't much time to dwell on things as I hurried to an underground parking garage and paid for a few hours. I rushed back out to the street and looked for the address Shuichi gave me, or the name which I'm sure was easier to find.

"K-san!" someone yelled.

I saw Shuichi across the street waving at me—next to him was Yuki, Suguru and Hiroshi. They all watched me as I hurried over. Yuki was dressed similar to me, black slacks and a magenta coloured shirt with a black blazer. Suguru was casual in dark, denim pants and a simple long-sleeved, navy-blue shirt, and Shuichi was sparkly in patent leather black pants and a dramatic, bright red coat, which underneath he wore a black mesh-like shirt.

And then my eyes landed on Hiro...

He was wearing a devil-may-care sort of look on his face. He was so sexy tonight in his own youthful way, I couldn't stop staring. He had on this Army green t-shirt with lighter green illegible print on the front, over that he wore a black motorcycle jacket left open, a pair of tattered jeans with tears at the knees, and on his feet were a pair of killer biker-styled boots. He was grunge and he looked hot. My eyes focused on his face again, noting how tousled and wild his hair looked tonight, as if it had been wind-tossed. Lastly, I focused on his steely grey eyes.

"It's good to see you, K-san," Hiroshi said and leisurely let his eyes rove over me.

"Hiroshi..." I murmured but failed to add anything else of intelligence.

"I know!" Shuichi began as if I was answering a question of his. "I thought I would have to kidnap Hiro to get him to come out tonight. We haven't been out in ages! I dunno what he's been doing for the last few weeks but he's always busy, never has time for me anymore..."

"Aww, quit your crying," Hiro muttered and shook his head, "I'm here now."

"I think he has a new girlfriend or something, but he's hiding it from me!" Shuichi wailed and glared at Hiro then.

Hiroshi only shrugged and flashed me a look.

"Maybe that's Hiro's business," Suguru interjected.

"And maybe he's _my_ best friend, not yours!" Shuichi retaliated.

I looked up at Yuki who sighed with irritation. "Are we going to stand out here all night looking like tramps?" he complained flicking his cigarette out onto the street.

Exactly, I thought. I didn't want to spend my night fending off crazy fans, I just wanted to enjoy the night out...find a moment to talk to Hiro, forget the watcher. But it really wasn't that hard when I looked over at Hiro who looked over at me as we entered the club.

We smiled at each other.

Inside the first thing that caught my eye was a bright, purple neon sign at the back of the club that screamed 'Violet's'. I screwed up my face...everywhere I went that place would stalk me it seemed. What were the odds that Hiro would pick a place with the same name as my secret haunt? It was mind boggling! As we immersed ourselves in the room heavy rock music assailed my ears, it was actually in English. I felt a tap on my arm.

"I feel like I'm not dressed properly for this place," said Shuichi loudly over the music, looking around.

Gee, I kind of felt the same. The only ones that seemed to fit in were Suguru and Hiroshi. It was grunge-styled, dark and casual. The room itself was dimly lit except for the bright green strobe light that moved spastically over the heads of the people dancing.

"Who picked this joint?" Yuki looked over at the guitarist, unimpressed.

Hiro only shrugged again, "I liked the name...thought we'd try it out."

Oh well, I might as well make the best of it. I followed them all to the bar where everyone got a drink. I was about to order a beer, but Hiro turned around in front of me and handed me one.

"Um...thanks," I said, eyeing the dark bottle.

I caught Shuichi glance at this spectacle oddly for a moment but he turned away and smiled adorningly at Yuki.

Hiro held up his own beer and offered a silent toast.

I clanked my bottle against his and took a sip, our eyes watching each other carefully.

"I don't mind this music, it has an underground kind of sound," Suguru offered and I broke the stare with Hiro and nodded blindly in agreement, and then I grinned stupidly. I really had no idea what Suguru just said. I was too busy thinking about how I would tell Hiro how much I liked him; maybe invite him over to shoot zombies or something.

"Do they play _any_ techno?" the pink-haired singer went.

"Doesn't seem like it, I think it's a mix of Japanese and English rock," Hiro pointed out.

Everyone's eyes landed on me then as if I'd conspired with Hiro to come here. I held up my hands, this wasn't my doing. I didn't see the big deal, it was a club, it had tunes and people seemed to be enjoying themselves. The atmosphere was relaxing.

"So how are you enjoying your time off, K?" Suguru asked me.

I looked at him. "Actually, I'm kind of enjoying it. At first I wasn't sure what to do with myself, but yeah..." I glanced at Hiro again who was watching me silently. I felt a blush coming on, "I found a new hobby...I, um, got back into running."

Suguru looked at me surprised, "Oh, well, that's great."

I nodded.

"We're almost finished the album," Shuichi offered happily.

"Cool, I can't wait to hear it," I said and looked back at Suguru. "I trust you'll tell me the truth, things are going well and I won't need to murder anyone when I return?" I asked the young musical genius.

He gave me a weak smile and said, "No worries, Sakano's handling it pretty well. Although I must say things are quiet without you there."

I watched the boy carefully, I wasn't sure if he was dissin' me. Little wise ass, I thought.

Hiro groaned loudly, "Ugh, let's not talk about work, huh? We have all day for that stuff."

"Right," Shuichi clamoured, "Let's dance!"

I watched the singer drag his reluctant boyfriend onto the dance floor, heading right for the center. I felt a tug on my arm, and I looked over to see it was Hiro.

"I want to dance too," he told me.

My brows shot up, stupefied, but I didn't have a chance to question the guitarist. His hand slipped down my arm to my hand and he dragged me after Shuichi and Yuki. I held on tight.

I loved to dance, I could be a real ham sometimes, but tonight I felt unsure of myself. I had too many thoughts running through my mind. And my heart was pitter-pattering inside my chest at the way Hiro was acting. I suddenly felt all clumsy as we weaved our way around bodies and found a tiny section of floor close to Shuichi and Yuki. Upon arrival, I noticed Shuichi was the one dancing as Yuki sort of stood by and watched him. Suguru came with us too.

A song came on that caused Hiro and Shuichi to cheer, I guess it was a tune they liked and both young men danced freely. I saw the laughter on their faces, but I couldn't hear it, the music was too loud. Hehe, they were mouthing the words to the song, singing along. It was cute.

Holding my beer, I swayed a little to the beat, my eyes focused mostly on Hiro. He reached over and hauled on my shoulders, leaning up against me and hollered breathlessly in my ear, "I love this song!"

I chuckled at his enthusiasm as he bounced away. Under the blanket of darkness my blush went completely unnoticed.

A few beers later I felt much more relaxed. The drink was going down faster the more I drank, I felt capricious and laughed as I danced a bit more freely, just enjoying the music. I could feel a permanent smile plastered to my face. This was turning out to be fun and I found I barely thought of the watcher at all. I was exactly where I wanted to be I realized...with Hiroshi, with friends.

And Hiro was flirting with me all night!

I know he was. He kept leaning up and talking in my ear, he kept touching me, once he even brushed his ass against my crotch in a little shimmy of his. And the whole time he wore that devilish look, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. And I was smitten. He was gorgeous, his face looking a bit flushed from dancing and the alcohol.

But was he only playing around?

I glanced over to see where Suguru went and was pleasantly surprised to see him dancing nearby with a girl. Oh ho! I was going to point that out to Hiro when I felt a pair of hands in my back pockets. I flashed my head back around to see Hiro in front of me with his arms around my waist, hands blatantly in my pockets.

"Got a cigarette?" he asked, nosing along my jaw, panting in my ear from the exertion of dancing.

My body burned alive. "Uhh...yeah, sure," I said and let him take the pack out of my pocket. I watched him light the smoke and he pressed up to me, stuffing the pack back in my pocket shamelessly.

"Thanks," he said and took a drag off the cigarette.

I chortled in disbelief. I looked over to see Shuichi busy with Yuki, his arms wrapped around the guy's neck. For a moment I recalled their tryst in the studio, it felt like ages ago now. I didn't feel so bad about my voyeurism anymore, it had been hot and that was all there was to it.

I returned my gaze to Hiroshi. I was getting tired of all this pissing around. The man was giving me signals here, at least I think so, and I still haven't done a damn thing about it! It was too loud in here to actually 'talk' to Hiro about what I wanted to say. Instead, I decided to show him since I was full of liquid courage now. Roguishly, I pulled him closer by his leather jacket and he flashed me an astonished look. I let go of his jacket and his surprise turned into a flattering smile, he pressed himself up against me. That smile, his body language, it told me everything. I had guessed right all evening.

Hiro dug me.

"Dance with me," Hiro demanded as an English song came on, the crowd in the club cheered and hurried to find a dancing partner. It was _Nine Inch Nails_ _– Closer._

"To _this_ song? Haha, that's asking for trouble," I teased next to his ear.

He teased back, "I like trouble."

I gave Hiro a lop-sided smirk as he blew a breath of smoke away. He dropped the cigarette to the floor and I crushed it out with my shoe.

"_You let me violate you  
you let me desecrate you  
you let me penetrate you  
you let me complicate you …"_

I think of sex every time I hear this song, which I'm sure the artist intended. If there was ever a song that brought the animal out of people, it was this one I'm sure of it.

"_Help me  
I broke apart my insides  
help me  
I've got no soul to sell  
help me  
the only thing that works for me  
help me get away from myself…"_

"_I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
my whole existence is flawed  
you get me closer to god…"_

The seductive beat filled my head and Hiro sang the words in Japanese next to my ear. It made my body tingle. Heh, so Hiro knew this song too. I smiled next to Hiro's head as his lips moved over my ear, man; he was being hot tonight. I began to move slowly with Hiro in my arms to the music. It was amusing, I'm sure we looked like an awkward couple at a high school dance.

"_You can have my isolation  
You can have the hate that it brings  
You can have my absence of faith  
You can have my everything…"_

Brazenly, Hiro pushed off of me, producing a shifty smile. He began to dance in front of me in a lazy seductive way, as if he were under a spell. His own hands climbed up along his chest, fingers spread along his throat and into his red hair. He tilted his head back, his mouth agape as if he were sighing with pleasure. It was like he was making love to the song. I was utterly enthralled, mesmerized. Hiro looked over as if to see if I was watching him pull out all the provocative stops. YES! HOLY CRAP—YES!!

"_Help me  
tear down my reason  
help me  
it's your sex I can smell  
help me  
you make me perfect  
help me  
think of somebody else…"_

I hauled Hiro back to me, my arm around his waist, and for a moment we stood absolutely still, staring at one another as the crowd around us danced. It was like we were sharing a moment of recognition, acknowledgment. Then Hiro palmed over my crotch in one firm and inviting manner.

"_I want to fuck you like an animal..."_

The desire—I could taste it, I was so _hard_. I wanted Hiro bad. My breath came out ragged against Hiro's neck as I buried my face there, my lips brushing over his skin, my hands gripped into his backside. We swayed together, and I throbbed as Hiro's teeth nipped at my earlobe.

"_Through every forest  
above the trees  
within my stomach  
scraped off my knees_

_I drink the honey  
from inside your hive  
you are the reason I stay alive."_

"I want you to fuck me," Hiro said, his hot breath moistening my ear.

What? _Right_ _here?!_

The song was ending and Hiro let go of me and took my hand. I glanced at Shuichi and Yuki who didn't seem to notice our libidinous behaviour. My mind swirling, I followed Hiro. He seemed to be looking for something since we didn't head in a straight direction, but wandered around the club. I sure hope he wasn't taking me into the washrooms, I thought with a lewd giggle. But I soon realized Hiro had no intentions of going the washrooms, we were headed for the back door the club. He pushed it open and we entered a damp, dark alleyway behind the club. The air was cool and crisp; my breath frosted in the air a little back here. Hiro let go of my hand and held the door open a crack, looking around. I guessed he was looking for something to keep the door from locking shut so we could get back in. I picked up a discarded newspaper and handed it to him. Hiro jammed it in the door and turned to me with intent written all over his face.

The beat of music pumped the other side of the wall, keeping in time with my own pounding heartbeat.

I heard a giggle and noticed a couple at the far end, near the street, kissing. But my head is redirected by Hiro's hands, and without a word he kissed me hard. It was everything I'd imagined, better even, and I kissed him back hungrily. Our hands scrambled over each other—needy mewls of desire lingering in our throats.

I push Hiro back against the brick wall. Wildly, we continue to kiss and grind and paw—Hiro opened up and I moan as I dip my tongue into the sweetness of his mouth. I only slowed down for a nanosecond when the craziest feeling of déjà vu flowed through me again. This kiss, it felt so familiar...

But it didn't matter, this was too hot and the ache I felt for him had to be satisfied, now. I grabbed his ass and pressed him into me hard.

"Unnnn…" he whines.

Oh yes. Hiro tugs my shirt out from my pants and slips his hands underneath, digging, scratching his nails into me.

Forcibly, Hiro turns us around and pins me to the brick wall. Our kiss comes to a stop as we stare each other down breathlessly. While I watch Hiro's beautiful face, those smoky eyes, swollen wet lips, his fingers work at unbuckling my belt, my zipper. His eyes unwavering, he slips his hand into my underwear and takes a handful.

I groan at the contact—I feel like I'm shattering from the inside out gloriously.

Slipping his hand out Hiro got to his knees.

My mouth agape, I choke on a sound that is almost like a sob as he goes down on me. Body jerking from the pleasure, I lean my head back against the hard wall and let my hands find their place in the silky hair on Hiro's head.

"Fuck..." I growl pleasurably.

Grey eyes look up at me from below and I fist my hands in his hair so hard he moans. I just watched in rapture. He's sucking me so hard I have to restrain myself from thrusting.

"Oh shit..." I say over my panting and sighing. "Unbelievable..." I feel as though I'm caught in some kind of suspended animation.

The blow job is brief, Hiro releases me from his mouth and the air is now cool against my wet skin. I watch him stand and he fishes something out of his inside pocket. I realize its lubrication.

"Fuck me," he demands once more.

There was no room in my head to analyze; it was too foggy with sex and alcohol. I just grabbed the lube as Hiro undid his pants in a hurry. I heard the faint tinkling of his belt buckle knocking off the wall as he braced against it, hands splayed over the brick, waiting. Ass thrust out and ready...

Ho shit. Hastily, I lube up and come up from behind and squeeze myself into him.

"Oh fuck," Hiro cussed.

I groaned and grabbed him by the hips and fucked his tight hole, hard. We grunted and panted as I thrust, thrust, _thrust!_ I gnashed my teeth together at the sheer pleasure I felt. Harder and harder, I rocked Hiro against the brick wall as he clawed at it, his face contorted in beautiful agony.

"K," he whines quietly, "Oh yes…yes, yes!"

"Hiroshi..." I breathe, casting my eyes down, watching myself disappearing in and out of his sweet, _sweet_ ass.

"Stroke me," Hiro pleaded, reaching for one of my hands on his hip and guiding it to his swollen cock.

I pumped Hiro from both sides. For a moment we were wordless, there is only the sounds of our breathing and the shuffling of our clothes, the gravel popping and crunching under our shoes, and the distinct wet sound of my body gliding in and out of Hiro's ass. Our bodies are so close climax; I knew by the way Hiro's cock felt in my palm, hard as rock. I felt the gush of warm fluid pump into my hand before I heard Hiroshi release a tormented sigh.

And that was it. That's all it took.

The pulsing organ in my hand, the wetness, Hiro's orgasmic whimpers made me lose it. I pulled out and jet laces of semen all over his pale ass.

Hiro turned around, grinning impishly, sighing with contentment, and began doing up his pants. I did the same, fixing my shirt as well.

I could suddenly see clearly again, and the realisation hit me. I _just_ fucked Hiroshi...

"Tell me I'm not dreaming," I murmured, "Tell me we didn't just do that."

Hiroshi chuckled and dug out a cigarette once more from my pack, "Nope, you're not dreaming and yup, we did just do that."

I closed my eyes and opened them again, sure enough Hiro was still here and now lighting the smoke. He was watching me humorously and must have felt sorry for me so he put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it. Numbly, I sucked on it, taking a puff without the use of my fingers before snatching it from my mouth.

"It was good, hmm?" Hiro murmured, releasing another sigh of satisfaction.

"Incredible..." I breathed.

"So now that _that's_ out of the way, why don't you tell me what you're really thinking?" Hiro stated calmly.

I halted mid-drag. _Tell him Claude; tell him what you wanted to tell him for the last two weeks._ "I…I wanted to tell you that I really like you."

"Oh really?" he mused blinking innocently at me.

I huffed at that. "Yes, it just took me awhile to find the courage to tell you," I said watching him carefully, my heart threatening to go in cardiac arrest right about now.

He stepped closer to me shaking his head, "It took you long enough. You have been driving me crazy, K."

"Huh?"

He just chuckled and tossed his cigarette away and reached out to pet over my cheek softly. "I have a little secret, a confession to tell you, but not here. Later, after we get out of here, we'll talk then." He smiled at me and added, "I really like you too, I have for awhile now, but you were always untouchable, taken."

It was as if my world were on fast forward. All my fears I had up to this very moment, vanished. It was replaced by utter shock, delight and an endless rush of emotions I could not name. "You wanted me??" I whispered unbelievingly.

"Is that so hard to believe?" he asks.

"I...I..." I didn't know what to say.

Hiroshi Nakano wants me!!

"HA! He wants me!" I suddenly shouted causing the kissing couple at the far end to look into the alleyway. I was jubilant. But then I remembered that my watcher liked me, rather loved, but it didn't seem to compare to the joy I felt when Hiro said he wanted me. I knew that my affections for Hiroshi were real and not just something built from a fantasy.

Hiro chortled at my exuberant reaction and said, "Come on, let's go back in before Shuichi busts something when he notices we disappeared."

I nodded and Hiro pulled open the door, he let me walk through first. On the way in he gave my ass a playful smack, but a firm one, snickering as he followed me in.

_Oww...

* * *

**A/N:**_ Weee! Thanks so much for reading guys. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! One more chapter to go!


	6. The Truth

Part 6

**The Truth**

Back in the club and after a much needed washroom break, Shuichi found us before we found him. He cornered us near a bar and I just stood there with a big dumb grin on my face.

"Where did you two take off too?!" he cried.

Hiro bypassed Shuichi leisurely and headed to the bar, ordering two bottles of water. He probably wanted to sober up a bit before we left the club. We did drive here after all. But this time _I_ paid the bartender.

He handed me one of the bottles which I cracked open and guzzled—man, all that panting and kissing makes you thirsty. Hiro did the same as Shuichi watched us both with hands on his hips.

"I was worried, you guys just disappeared on us...I looked all over the club," complained the haughty vocalist to his best friend.

"We were just fucking around," Hiro mused.

I almost choked on my water.

"I'm sorry, Shuichi. We had to take leak," Hiro explained sincerely.

"I thought only women went to the washroom in pairs?" Shuichi teased and shook his head, laughing it up.

"I got K to hold it for me," Hiro said continuing his salvo of naughty jokes.

Shuichi glanced at me absurdly and I burst out laughing. The look on the singer's face was just so priceless! Gee, when had Hiro become such a comedian? I loved it!

I found my inner calm. "So why were you looking for us anyways?" I asked Shuichi.

He smiled then and said, "Yuki promised to buy everyone dessert if we leave here right now. It's a fair bribe."

Hiro rolled his eyes. "Geez, it he that determined to get out of here?" he huffed.

"So, do you guys want to leave?" Shuichi questioned.

I looked at Hiro who looked at me. I could tell right away that Hiro didn't want to go to a dessert cafe.

"Look, Shuichi I have some things I want to do after this. Let's just stay for a little bit longer and go, ok?"

"I'm with Hiro on that," I said.

Shuichi visibly pouted.

Hiro patted his arm reassuringly, "I'm sure Yuki will still get _you_ something sweet."

"Do you think?" he wondered hopefully.

"Just turn on your charms, tell him you'll be his dessert, later," Hiro advised.

Shuichi smiled wickedly, "Ok!"

"So, where are Suguru and Yuki?" Hiro asked looking around.

I scanned over the area myself, I couldn't see them either.

"Suguru is talking to a girl and Yuki's at the bar on the other side," Shuichi says, "Come on let's go find him."

We followed Shuichi through the crowd, to the other side of the club. Sure enough, Yuki was leaning against the bar looking perfectly bored. He laid uninterested golden eyes on us.

"Are you guys ready to leave yet?" Yuki asks optimistically.

"Hiro and K don't want to go for out dessert, so we'll just stay for two more songs and then you can buy _me_ ice cream, with strawberries, and chocolate syrup, oh, and pistachios," Shuichi rambled and pleaded, _"Please!"_

"Whatever," grumbled Yuki, he sipped his beer.

I looked around again but I didn't see Suguru anywhere. I hoped he was alright, but I'm _sure_ he was—little hound dog. I watched Shuichi scampering off to the dance floor, but before I could follow him, Hiro took me aside.

"Shuichi is boring holes in my back with his eyes right now," he said and chuckled.

I checked and sure enough, Shuichi was waiting for us, his face screwed up. "Your assumption would be correct"

"Look, I'm not going to hide nothing from Shuichi...I'm not ashamed. He'll have to deal with it and so will anyone else. But I want to make sure you are ok with that."

I heard the confidence in Hiro's voice, it was a little daunting, but he was right. "Shame is for the ones that live life in fear of it," I said, repeating the words Violet spoke to me the very first time I met her.

Hiro flashed me a look.

"Just something someone told me once," I explained.

"Words to live by," Hiro said resolutely, a slight anxiousness creasing at the corner of his eyes.

I caught the change of demeanour on Hiro's face and recalled that he said he had a secret to tell me. I scoffed at my own sudden twist of anxiousness and my overactive imagination—it couldn't be that bad, could it? What was he going to say, that he had a third nut or jacked off in the washrooms at work on his break while thinking of me or something? I snorted.

We followed Shuichi, who was looking utterly disturbed that we were wasting precious dancing minutes. Hiro launched himself into the fray, beaming at Shuichi and they gave each other a goofy high-five thing and danced. Hiroshi was such a good friend to Shuichi, it made me smile. But I really wasn't in the mood to dance. I was perfectly content to watch them this time and replay the great fuck I just had a few moments ago over in my mind.

I sipped my water.

After three songs, Yuki came looking for Shuichi. "You said two songs," he reminded his lover.

The beginnings of _Freak on a Leash_ by Korn began to play.

Shuichi reeled Yuki in like a fish on a hook, "Dance with me till the end of this song and then we'll leave, ok?"

Yuki, for the time being, was placated.

Hiro came over to me, thumbing in Yuki and Shuichi's direction and rolled his eyes comically. "He loves it but he won't admit it," he offered.

"It breaks my heart," I offered sarcastically.

Hiro laughed. His face lit up and he ran his finger down the front of my shirt.

"_Feeling like a freak on a leash. (You wanna see the light)  
Feeling like I have no release. (So do I)  
_

Hiro's lips curled devilishly again, he leaned into me. "I wouldn't mind putting a leash on you sometime," he purred into my ear.

"I dunno, maybe I'd like that," I countered.

This seemed to have turned Hiro on again. "I bet you would," he said and leered at me coyly.

HA! I laughed uproariously and my eyes darted at Shuichi and Yuki who seemed to have noticed this interaction between Hiro and me this time. My laughter came to a halt. They gave us a peculiar look of which I wasn't surprised. But Hiro, who obviously didn't care and seemed to be on a mission of his own, was too busy playing with a lock of my hair to notice.

I held up my hands and shrugged like I had no idea what had come over Hiro. But I did grin goofily.

"I was thinking we'd take my motorcycle to my place and you'd come for the ride, Mr_._ K," Hiro murmured, brushing the tip of hair over his lips like a paint brush.

"Um...ok," I said, momentarily distracted by the sweet and childlike way Hiro was doing that. His lips were set almost in a pout. Up and down and then across he smoothed the hair over his mouth. Hiro seemed to be lost in this sensual discovery and parted his lips.

I licked mine. I wanted to kiss him this very instant, but I hesitated. I cast an unsure glance in Yuki and Shuichi's direction.

"_Shame is for the ones that live life in fear of it."_

Right shame, what _was_ that again? I chortled menacingly and leaned in to capture Hiro's lips with my own. Screw shame...

As I kissed Hiro's soft lips, I could feel it, that confused, depressed, disenchanted K—the voices...all taking a flying leap. To my satisfaction, I heard an imagined thud, along with a nice crunch of bones. And all that was left behind was...me, a new and improved me, but still just me looking down at the bodies below.

I pulled away from the kiss and Hiro gave me a triumphant smile, his eyes completely alight with exhilaration.

"What are you thinking?" he asks, curious it seemed about the sudden kiss.

I moved my lips near his ear so I wouldn't have to yell, "I'm thinking...it's good to be back."

Hiro faced me with a smile and I studied his eyes which I cherished so much, like tiny pools of liquid steel, the same colour as the tiny shadows on my magnum...

"Whoa! Tell me I didn't just see that?!"

The voice was distinctly Suguru's.

"I know!" Shuichi blasts and giggles with incredulity. "Guys..? Um...hi, Shuichi here, can you hear me?"

"I don't think they are listening," Suguru offers, snickering loudly.

" _Hiroshi_ and _K_?!" hollers Shuichi, dramatizing our names.

Both Hiro and I turned to peer at Shuichi who is watching us, his eyes as wide as silver dollars.

"What?" I asked him over the din. I knew I had a smirk on my face, but I couldn't help it.

Yuki just lights a cigarette and blows the smoke away lazily, completely impassive about any of this. Suguru appears to be blushing.

"_Whaaat_," Shuichi repeats vividly, "You two are just staring at each other with gay little hearts floating above your heads and you ask _whaaat_? When did _this_ happen?" he said arms out and palms up, waving them in our direction, "Where the hell was I?"

"You were right here and it was just a little while ago," Hiro tells his best friend, a silly grin plastered on his face, too. He began to giggle softly while scratching his head awkwardly, "Ok, maybe more than a little," he rambled.

"Wow, I…I…can see that," stammers Shuichi like this is the strangest thing he's ever seen. "So K really was holding your..."

Hiro balked, "I was joking about that!"

I laughed and pat Shuichi on the arm, "Doesn't this rock?!"

Shuichi glances at me and I can almost see the little hamster running in the wheel inside his mind. "K _and_ Hiro...Hiro _and_ K...? Together..." he murmurs pointing a finger at each of us in turn.

"He'll get over it," Hiro said, chuckling. "Monday he'll practically jump me and beg for details. Can we get out of here now?"

"I'm ready whenever you are," I say.

"Oh, so now I see why you didn't want to go out for ice cream," Shuichi said understandably, "You're going home with K-san?"

"Actually, he's coming home with me," Hiro corrected, cresting his eyes and playfully stuck his tongue out at Shuichi.

Shuichi gaped and then giggled almost evilly.

I shook my head dryly.

I watched Hiro go over and hug his long time friend; he whispered something in Shuichi's ear and then, a moment later, were snickering. Then Hiro said his goodbyes to everyone else and came back over to me, placing his hand in mine as if it had always belonged there.

I bid the gang goodnight too and weaved out of crowd, still gripping Hiro's hand.

"Hiro, tomorrow...call me!" came Shuichi's voice over all the noise in the club.

"Wow, his voice really _can_ carry," I said when we got outside and I didn't have to yell to talk anymore.

"You see, I told you...he can't even wait until Monday," Hiro said shaking his head sadly.

"I'm sure he's just concerned for you," I offered.

"That's not all he's 'concerned' about, trust me," Hiro countered and chuffed. "Don't worry I'm not a kiss-and-tell sorta guy."

Thank goodness. "Well, I should go find my car I'll follow you," I said and turned in the direction of where I parked it, but Hiro grabs my arm.

"Hey, I thought I said we would take my motorcycle—you agreed," he alleged.

"What?" I replied. I didn't remember Hiro telling me that. "You can't be serious."

"What's the big deal? I even have a spare helmet for you," Hiro tells me.

"It's just...two guys...on a bike."

Hiro looked sardonically at me then. "I see, you think we'll look like a couple of pansies."

I gave him a look. "Why do I have to be the 'girl'?" I complained, "Why don't you let me drive it then?"

"Not a chance, no one but _me_ drives my baby, sorry," Hiro said stubbornly.

I sighed. "Fine..." I relent, "I'll be your 'girl' just this once."

Hiro snickered at me. He mounted the bike and made it roar before it settled at a purr. I can't help the foolish grin on my face as I climb on the back, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"Just go already," I bemoan.

Once we were on the move, I had to admit, it felt really good being this close to Hiro on his bike, letting him have this control. It didn't matter really, he's all mine now... I squeeze him a little harder from behind to accentuate my thoughts. I dipped my nose in his hair; I could smell hints of his shampoo, maybe mousse, and smoke from the club. The city lights flew by and a few times I was sure Hiro was showing off, burning rubber as we made a couple of sharp turns. But Hiro was totally in control, he was amazing on this powerful machine. I gained some newfound respect for him because of it. Still, it reminded me that there were probably a lot of things I didn't know about Hiroshi.

His secret...

When we arrive at his place, a place I'd been to a few times when I had to pick him up for some gig or something, I climbed off the bike.

"Don't worry we'll pick up your car tomorrow," Hiro explains and I realize I hadn't even thought about how I was going to retrieve my car.

"I'll probably get a ticket," I told him and shrugged.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think about that," he says.

"Don't sweat it."

I pulled off the helmet and hung onto it with one hand. Hiro urges with a directional nod of his head towards his building. It's an apartment in a small structure like mine, except his place is on the first floor. There's a patio on the ground level so we don't have to go through the main entrance to get inside. Hiro has a key for his patio door, but we did have to enter a fenced gate that protected the ground level dwellings.

"Did you enjoy the ride?" he asks me, looking back.

"It was...interesting," I say tentatively.

He laughs at me again but I shrug it off, it was actually fun but I wasn't going to come clean of that fact. I pushed aside the thick beige drapes hanging in front of the sliding glass door and entered his apartment. Hiro moved on ahead of me and flicked on an overhead light that lit up the entire space. I looked over his modest place and set the motorcycle helmet on a small table next to the door.

It was a simple one bedroom dwelling, accompanied by a small livingroom in which we stood. Not overly furnished, sort of like my own place. I spotted some guitar paraphernalia on the square, black coffee table, a guitar string and a few picks. The actual guitars were leaning against the far wall, an amp nestled between them on the other end of the two-seater, dark brown couch. There were also a few bookshelves, one next to the T.V and the other on the left side of the room—they were full of books. Hiro wasn't lying, he was an avid reader.

"Want some tea?" Hiro asks me as he shucks off his shoes and drapes his jacket over the arm of the couch.

"Tea would be great," I say and slip off my own shoes at the patio door.

My eyes follow Hiro into the kitchen which I could also see from where I stood. I watched him fill an electric kettle and plug it in. Then he went over to his sink and began to wash out two cups. He smiled over at me.

"You don't have to stand there, come in, relax," he says.

I pad over the hardwood floor towards him when my eyes catch a photo in a silver frame on the wall. It appeared to be Hiro's family. They were standing under a blossoming cherry tree, mother and father in the back and Hiro and his brother in front.

"Hanami, it's a day everyone goes out and enjoys the cherry blossoms...that's my mother and father, we had a picnic that day. I was like sixteen, and that's my brother Yuuji beside me...he's a doofus, but a lovable doofus," Hiro said, the corners of his lips curving with amusement.

I tore my eyes from the picture to see Hiro pour hot, steaming water into two cups. "Ah," I said, "I've never been to a cherry blossom festival before. It is a beautiful time of year though."

"It is we should go together this year, the festival will be soon. I mean, that's if you—"

"—I'd love to," I said eagerly, cutting Hiro off, "Sorry..."

"Haha, no problem," he says softly.

The awkward silence is broken by the tinkling sound of spoon against tea cup.

I gazed around Hiro's kitchen. Small fridge, no table, a decent stove and a microwave, and a set of adorable red, little-people-hugging salt-and-pepper shakers on his counter—there are even a few dirty dishes in his sink. I smile, Hiro is human after all...I'm grateful he's not a neat freak.

He hands me a hot cup carefully and sighs unusually. He seems tense for some reason I don't know. "What's the matter?" I ask him.

"It's nothing," he replies and looks away sketchily.

"I know this feels so different. I'm trying hard to stand here and not act like your manager, cause I'm not always that guy," I assured and attempted a sip of tea, it was hot and blissful, it burnt my tongue a little. "I can't believe I'm standing here in your apartment after a night like tonight."

"Again, why's it so hard to believe? I knew you wanted me for about two weeks now," Hiro said flashing me an anxious glance, "I just…I had a certain way of figuring it out."

"'A certain way'?" I ask with a feeling of foreboding crawling up my spine.

"Yeah, see, this is the secret I was talking about. You might not want to be with me after I tell you this," Hiro says.

My stomach began to knot, he sounds so serious and now it's really making me nervous. "Well, two weeks ago I was a man without a clue." I told him honestly, "My whole life felt sort of fucked up—Judy, it hurt you know. I think I tried to convince myself it didn't and it just ate at me. I know it sounds stupid, but I never felt so alone after that. I never knew how much it mattered until it happened. And then...you came along and this crazy place I found and this bizarre guy..." I was ready to tell him everything.

"I know," he says directly, cutting me off, his eyes hard on mine.

I arch a brow in speculation. "How?"

"I want you to know I really am sorry. Well, I am and I'm not, but I can't continue this with you until I come clean," Hiro says and begins to pace. "It's just...fuck, I just have to show you, alright? Wait here," he insists and sets his tea on the counter and walks out of the kitchen.

Totally confused and uneasy I turn to see Hiro wander off to his bedroom. He closes the door softly behind him and I shook my head. I take Hiro's tea and my own to the livingroom and set the cups on 'borrowed' bar coasters on the coffee table. Then I took a seat on the couch and sighed, rubbing my hands over my face.

There is a round gold clock ticking on the wall, and I peek through my fingers to see its one-thirty in the morning. I never felt more wide awake in my life. My eyes dart to the bedroom door—what is Hiro _doing_ in there? I hate this feeling, like I'm in the dark about something, like a bomb is about to drop. Normally it's _me_ that drops the bombs. Minutes tick by and it feels like forever. I pick up my cup and drink some more of the tea.

Finally the bedroom door opens, I dart my head up in a flash.

In walks the watcher from Violet's!

In shock tea spurts from my mouth, the teacup slips from my fingers and crashes to floor. I barely felt the hot tea pooling around my socks—I just stare, my mouth hanging open.

My eyes trailed over the black-cloaked figure, the leather pants, over a naked chest to a face covered in that infamous black mask. It seemed so out of place...as if this were a nightmare becoming real. I fleetingly thought of pinching myself to see if it's true, but I know I'm not sleeping.

The watcher takes off the mask and I'm gaping at Hiro's smug face.

It was rare when I was so stunned to the core that I couldn't speak, but this was one of those moments. I felt a slew of emotions flowing through my body, anger, embarrassment, shock—my eyebrows furrowed as I struggled to comprehend it all.

Hiro took a step back cautiously. "I…I wanted to tell you sooner but...I couldn't," he said in a timorous manner. "You were just so, so sincere, so vulnerable that I couldn't let it go. It was like I got to witness a part of you that no one ever gets to see," he tries to explain. "I never knew you could be like that, K."

_I couldn't believe it!_ I told him so much and we did all those things! I let Hiro see the most pathetic side of me! My cheeks flamed so hot they burned. I let him humiliate me!

"Please..." Hiro beseeched. "Don't be ashamed. There is nothing wrong with what we did," Hiro went on in a soothing, but confident voice.

I looked back up at him, my face hot. Conflicted, I wasn't sure whether to be pissed off or relieved. Then, it dawned on me that tonight Hiro picked that club with the same name, Violet's.

"You got fired," I finally said in a whisper, still staring at Hiro like I was staring at a stranger.

"Yeah..." Hiro said with a shrug, "I broke the number one rule."

"You fell in love," I said in a soft rush, and the weight of what I was saying hit me hard. "Was...was Violet correct?"

"Yes," he answered breathlessly, "I fell in love with a seeker…with you."

"With me..." A fleeting, tiny grin tugged at the corner of my mouth.

Hiro scoffed. "I guess I wasn't cut out for that kind of thing. The only time it was fun was when you were there. So, I don't mind that Violet let me go," he said and slipped off the cloak which fell to the floor in a crumpled heap around his feet.

My eyes travelled over his nicely toned chest and down to the waist of his leather pants. His chest was well defined, skin pale, and the way those pants hung on his lean hips... Damn, he was still so hot. My eyes met his again. "I almost feel like you've played a crazy joke on me," I said with obvious hurt on my voice.

Hiro dropped the mask to the floor with a clatter. He kicked his cloak over the spilt tea and knelt in front of me between my legs. He placed his hands on my knees and stared me straight in the eye. "Look, I didn't set out to betray you but you walked into that room on your own accord. I didn't know you went to places like that, or how you even found Violet's. Can you imagine my astonishment when I saw you as my first seeker?" he asked me with the most sincere look on his face.

I did remember the way the watcher sounded when he first saw me there. It all made sense now, the little suspicious things the watcher said. The way he kept talking to me as if he knew me. Now the idea kind of made me smile, but it faded quickly when a dire thought came to mind. "Did you do all that kinky shit with other people, too? Why Hiro? What made you do that?" I couldn't help feel terribly jealous all the sudden, wary that Hiro was playing me.

Hiro sighed and rest his forehead defeated like on my left knee. "Why don't you tell me why _you_ came to a place like Violet's? Why did _you_ do it?" He looked back up at me.

"I...I wanted to find myself," I murmured and made an irritated face. I groaned. That wasn't all of it. "When I first stumbled in there, I was running away from prostitutes..." I told Hiro the entire gory saga, from the moment I caught Shuichi and Yuki screwing in the recording room, to the shower escapade with Ryuichi; to the moment I realized I had feelings for Hiroshi and the watcher. "I just wanted to explore my new feelings, but I didn't think you'd ever want to be with me."

Hiro was finished half of his tea by the time I finished my story. He tilted his head gently and nodded with understanding. "You see, you just answered your own question. Why do you think I ended up there? I met Violet, in the bookstore I mentioned close to that sushi place we went to, anyways, she noticed I was looking at a book called—"

Hiro blushed a little then.

"_The Darker Side of Pleasure_ and she asked if I'd ever 'acted upon such desires'. You should have seen me, K. She must have thought I was a real idiot; I blushed and fidgeted like some kind of kid. But she was so open and honest; she never made me feel dirty—"

My eyes shot open, "You didn't..."

"Ugh, of course not!" Hiro spat, but he chuckled, "It wasn't like that, geesh. She just talked to me about stuff, deep stuff and asked if I would ever like to be the one in charge." Hiro turned his face away then, "I have to admit, K. I wanted it...to be in charge, just for once—to see if I really had it in me. And I liked it."

I waited for Hiro to say more.

"But I never, _never_ did the kind of stuff I did with you with anyone else. I told you, I only did that with someone I liked. It wasn't sex for money, it was _my_ exploration. Other seekers—all they did was talk mostly. I swatted them if they talked out of turn, or tickled them with my whip..."

"Please, don't say anymore," I begged, "I don't want to know."

Hiro rolled his eyes. "I was only there for three weeks. No one got to see me in my costume, except you."

I felt hugely relieved with his explanation and watched Hiro who was still kneeling in front of me, a look of anxiousness on still on his face. I reached out to pet over his hair. "You know I was going to dump you 'the watcher' tonight. I went there to do just that, but Violet told me you got fired. She said you fell in love with me, that we'd find each other, but she wouldn't tell me who you were."

"Really?" he said and chuckled again.

I felt myself relax a little more, "Yeah, I decided tonight I would confess my feelings to you and no matter what happened I wouldn't return to Violet's."

"And tell me you did," Hiro said and let a playful smirk form on his face.

I grinned then too. Oh yeah, I told him all right...right against a brick wall. "Man, I let you spank me!" I complained loudly and fisted a handful of Hiro's dark hair until he flinched.

Grunting a little, Hiro muttered tauntingly, "But you liked it...I _know_ you did. It was fun. Hehe…you like to play rough, too." Mewling a little with the hair pulling, Hiro still managed to toss me devilish smile over the pain.

I gave him my most sycophantic smile and let go of his hair, "I would've played lots rougher, but you had me tied to a chair!" I said pretending to be hard done-by, "Not very fair." I leaned over to kiss the spot I was rough on Hiro's head.

"You just rewarded me," Hiro chimed and we both laughed.

I sat back against the couch with a huge sigh. "You know a place like that could be dangerous, I'm compelled as your manager to give you shit."

Hiro groaned. "I guess, but Violet ran a tight ship...she wouldn't let anyone hurt me. She's a tough old lady."

I nodded, "That's true. Once, I thought she was going to kick your ass."

"Trust me, I thought so too!" Hiro exclaimed and chuffed.

I wanted to know more. "So, now that you've 'explored' some exciting new things...are you going to continue with that stuff?" I questioned.

Hiro took his time responding. He set his cup down and trailed a fingertip over the top of my hand. "I don't think so. Why would I want to when I could just play that way with the guy that made it all worth it? We could explore things together."

I had to smile over that. "As long as we aren't going to go fuck with cameras in the room and strangers watching it—that's the only part that I didn't like. Well, a back-alley fuck...that I can handle, but I'd rather keep our sex life between us, if you don't mind."

Hiroshi let out a loud laugh. "I can live with that."

"Good." All this talk of 'exploring' and fucking in public was kind of making me horny. I snickered, reaching out for Hiro's hair again with my fingers. I weaved them through his mane, swirling a lock around my finger. "You know…" I paused looking smug, "…I really liked it when you spanked me."

Hiro laughed heartily again. He gazed up at me in such an adoring way, that it made my insides feel as though they were melting. Even with all this kinky stuff, I could see true affection all over his face. There were two sides to all of this I realized. Having a loving partner made all the kinky things seem hotter. I was sure right then that I was the luckiest bastard in Japan right now. There would be no more Violets and watchers and seekers. Only me and Hiro and his whip and cloak and leather pants, and his mask and…

Oooo, I wonder if he has a spare one. The possibilities were endless...

"I'm glad we worked this out," Hiro said, "I wasn't sure if you were going to shoot me when I walked out of the bedroom."

I snorted and said, "I left the gun at home."

"Huh, well, that's comforting," Hiro quipped.

I shook my head ruefully, "You rarely give me a reason to pull my gun on you."

"Oh, no? Maybe I should find a reason then," Hiroshi went slyly and slid his hands along the inside of my thighs, dangerously close to my package.

"Hmm…it still doesn't warrant a pistol whipping," I played along.

He grinned and moved in closer so he was leaning against the couch. Hiro started undoing the buttons on my shirt, and then un-tucking it entirely from my pants. "You look better without a shirt," he purred and bent to kiss over my abdomen.

That made me shiver but I didn't give in, not yet. "Nah ah, almost, but you still need something more," I encouraged and chuckled at all the silly innuendos thrown in here.

Hiro gave me a goofy grin. He undid my pants and then my zipper and dug out my semi-erect cock. "Seems to me that I have acquired your gun, now you're defenceless and completely at my mercy," he said proudly.

"How could I be so careless?" I pretended to sound dismal and watched as Hiro rubbed his cheek against my cock.

With my dick in his hand, Hiro urged me to stand up along with him. He's tugging on me gently, but insistently. "Come, follow me," Hiro says.

"Demanding, aren't we?" I say incredulously, letting Hiro guide me to his bathroom by means of my dick.

"I'm not always going to let you be in control just because you know now that I was the watcher. So you better get used to it," Hiro remarks determinedly.

I grin, "Of course, but we could take turns at this 'control' thing, can't we?"

"I'd expect nothing less," Hiro agrees and switches on the bathroom light. "I admit I'm jealous. I can't believe you made out with Ryuichi! Seriously, it's been driving me crazy wondering who you made out with," Hiro moaned. "Now I kind of want to make that vision you had in your shower real. You won't have to pretend Ryuichi is me."

"I didn't do it on purpose. Ryuichi just sort of, pounced...it was hard to stop him," I defended.

Hiro chuckled, "I'm sure it was. But, you called out my name." He made a victorious sound then, "I guess I can forgive you."

I guffawed and let Hiro remove my shirt. "You know, it's kind of neat to see you jealous for me. You look all pissy, it's adorable."

Hiro rolled his eyes.

I just laughed.

We got undressed, and I watched Hiro snake out of those leather pants in awe. I looked him over, all naked in the clear light of his bathroom. He was so lean and supple, taut stomach, broad shoulders, smooth skin. My eyes went to his penis, which was hard and full and pink, standing at attention like a soldier. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable being naked in front of me.

I noticed him looking me over as well, a quiet moment of reconnaissance. I felt my body brimming with heat and desire. I loved how Hiro gazed at me and how it made me feel.

"You're gorgeous," he tells me softly.

"So are you," I reply.

He went behind me and gently released my low-riding ponytail that had gotten mashed by the motorcycle helmet—he mused up my hair a little and then came back in front to study me once more. "Wow, who is that guy? You don't look like my manager anymore," he murmured.

I smiled softly.

Hiro went about turning on the faucets for a shower—I was glad we were having one, I felt grimy from the club and the sex in the alley earlier. And not to mention my socks were soaked with tea. I wriggled my sticky toes. "I'm sorry I broke your cup."

"No worries, I got it in one of those Everything for 100 Yen stores. I think you would call it a dollar store in the States, right?" Hiro said, pulling the curtain back and letting me go in first.

I chuckled and stepped into Hiro's beige-tiled shower stall. "Yeah, one hundred yen is almost a buck," I replied and stood under the spray. I turned around to watch Hiro join me.

We just smiled at each other for a moment.

"Why are you smiling?" Hiro asked, looking up at me with those big grey eyes.

"Because we're both naked and in your shower but we're talking about world currency," I said.

"And _you_ are stealing all the hot water," Hiro pointed out and snuck around behind me, shoving me forward gently.

I spun around and gave Hiro a raised-eyebrow look. I chuckled at his insolence, "So you wanna play, huh?"

He nodded, "Mmmhmm."

He should know that if I wanted to physically, I could outmuscle him, but I didn't want that. I also didn't want to play a game of 'who's in control'; we both knew who had the control tonight and I was secure enough with myself to let him have it. I knew right now that, if all we did was fight for control, the relationship would never work out. I had to chose my battles, or forget battling at all. So instead, I would rely on torture, sensual torture to get what I wanted. I was pretty sure he wanted that too.

I looked around for some soap and decided I would indulge in lathering up Hiro's sexy young body. I picked up a bottle filled with frothy green coloured soap—I didn't see a sponge or anything so I guess I'd just have to use my hands. Actually, I preferred it. Snapping the cap closed, I rubbed the stuff between my hands and caught Hiro's glance.

I grinned at him.

He traded spots with me. Now I indulged in the hot spray, which also allowed me to soap Hiro and not have it all rinse away before I got a chance to lather it up. I went to work, smoothing the flowery scented stuff over Hiro's chest—he sighed and let his eyes drift shut. I spread the lather all over his body which was now covered in a rich layer of white foam.

"If only your fans could see you now," I murmured enthralled by what I saw and took my time discovering the dimensions of Hiro's soapy ass with my hands. I got to my knees and looked at his cock—it was hard and I had avoided it until now.

I squeezed a little more soap into my hand and wrapped it around Hiro's length.

"Ahh yeah..." he sighed as I began to stroke him gently, the soap making it so much easier to glide his flesh within my grasp. My other hand explored him daringly, touching into crevices and fondling parts of him that needed attention too. This was something new to me, even though I'd showered myself a thousand times, washing another man was different. It felt like I was discovering a new world of foreplay. I was careful not to miss a thing.

"I never knew you could be so gentle," Hiro said softly from above, "You're not just a crazy American after all."

What a delightful sense of humour he had. I stood up and traded places again, letting Hiro rinse off the soap. "So you admit to calling me a 'crazy American'."

"I admit nothing," he teased.

I just grinned widely, "Well, I never knew Hiroshi Nakano could be such a kinky guy that enjoyed whips and masks and dark places for kicks. You're not just the good-boy guitarist for Bad Luck."

"I guess we aren't what the world sees, huh?" Hiro said.

"All part of the business," I offered. "I call it tactics, urban warfare."

Hiro groaned at my choice of words. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," I said.

"Do I really have all of you?"

I took me a moment to remember what Hiro was talking about, but I did. It was the last conversation I had with the watcher, that time he blew up at me asking if I was ready to fess up and would I accept Hiro for all that he was. I told him that he could have all of me. It all made sense now.

"Yes," I answered clearly. "Everything," I added and drew him close. "But there are so many things you don't know about me—all you have to do is ask and I'll tell you."

"That's not exactly what I meant," Hiro replied.

Oh? It took me another moment to realize...I knew what Hiro was trying to ask me. "You mean you want to know if I share the same feelings for you." Love...

He nodded softly.

Remembering the pure joy I got from hearing Hiro say it, I let my heart do the talking. Hiro wanted an honest answer. "Look, it might take me awhile to figure things out sometimes, and sometimes I go into situations head first without thinking it out thoroughly. Things explode...Bad Luck ends up screaming at me, Sakano faints, but, in the end, I get results. It's like Shuichi, I was never more sure about anything in my whole life...I knew he had what it took to be a star...call it an instinct, but now, with you...I feel the same way. I know its right even if we haven't gone on an official first date."

Hiro held me tight, gazing at me with a soft smile on his face. "Knowing you feel that way, I can't believe I ever had any doubts."

"All I want is you...I love you," I whispered.

"I'm yours," Hiro answered and brought his lips to mine in a sweet, passionate joining.

I made a sound of repletion, pure contentment, and held him back, kissing, while streams of water scurried down our faces. I never felt so free, so wanted, or, so honest... I never knew it could be this great with Hiro. So, perfect...

Hiro pulled back and picked up the soap. "It's my turn," he said with delight.

"Gladly," I said without rejection. Sensually, but thoroughly, Hiro washed me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his hands on my skin. I released a goofy sound when he scrubbed my toes. It made me think that I was a patient and Hiro was my own private nurse, naughty nurse, and it was the best time of the day, bath time—I chuckled at my wayward thoughts.

A slippery finger penetrated me gently. I opened my eyes suddenly and looked down to see Hiro kneeling, one frothy hand wringing around my cock, and the other somewhere between my legs. I could feel his finger deep inside me, prodding, nudging, pressing...

I gasped, my knees unexpectedly felt weak.

"Mmm, I see I found the right spot," Hiro murmured from below, casting a keen smile up at me.

Oh shit. Whatever Hiro was doing to me felt amazing, I was so hard. I found myself so easily yielding to Hiro's will, allowing him to control me, yet, I didn't feel as though I'd lost any control either. It wasn't about that. Squeezing my eyes shut, I just enjoyed the pleasure searing through me, spreading out to the tip of my cock. Licking my lips, I moaned softly. I knew from the moment we got into this shower that Hiro would be taking me this time, and, you know, I don't mind one bit.

"Beg me for it," Hiro murmured.

I opened my eyes and looked down at him. There was a bedevilled smirk on my face, "Beg for what exactly?"

"You know you want it...just tell me. I want to hear you say it," Hiro encouraged.

I wasn't going to give in so quickly, I was rather enjoying his thrusting finger at the moment.

But then they stopped.

I whined and frowned at Hiro now. "No fair, don't stop," I told him.

"Then tell me what you want," Hiro demanded, and added softly, "I promise to be gentle."

I 'hrmph'd'.

"Fine then," Hiro muttered and took his fingers out and stood back up. He gave me a haughty glance and turned his back on me, continuing to shower like I wasn't there.

He was playing dirty pool...

I knew I would have to give in if I wanted Hiro to continue. "You don't play fair," I complained.

"I know," Hiro replied evilly.

Oh, how I enjoyed this little game of ours, my body simply brimmed with desire to have Hiro touch me again.

I watched him, with arms crossed, tilt his head back to let the spray beat off his throat, he sighed pleasurably. Such torture! Here I was all covered in soap, in the cold and forced to decide when to submit. Shamelessly, Hiro began to touch himself, stroking his length and sighing like he was having a wet dream. He was being incorrigible!

"I don't have all night," Hiro taunted.

"Alright! Fuck me," I blasted, "I want you to!"

"What was that?" Hiro practically cooed.

I almost growled at him. To prove my point, I turned my back to him and placed my hands on the tiled wall and offered myself, "Do me."

Of course I let him win.

Wordlessly, I heard Hiro step out of the shower, heard a drawer open, and then he returned. I heard the cap of something snap open and click shut. I swallowed hard and waited...I knew that Hiro had gotten the lubrication. Unsure about what to expect, all I knew was that I needed to relax...this would feel good only if I relaxed, right? A set of hands were placed on my hips and then came the nudging presence of Hiro's erection against my fingered entrance.

He leaned into me and whispered, "That's all I wanted to hear."

I scoffed and squeezed my eyes shut, my mouth already open in anticipation, teeth clenched. I tried so hard to loosen up. He slipped inside of me.

My eyes shot open, a worried look cast over my face. There was a mix of pain and pleasure.

"Fuck..." we both breathed.

"You feel so good, so hot and tight," Hiro purred from behind, his hands gripping tightly at my hips, holding on firmly since I was still covered in soap.

I didn't speak; my mind was focused on the intrusion in my ass. I felt Hiro moving inside, felt this incredible sensation flaring straight through my groin. It wasn't painful if I didn't tense up—I let myself go and sighed. This was better than I ever imagined!

Hiro began to pump a little harder, causing the ache inside me to pulse stronger. I could hear myself whimpering, begging for more...begging him to fuck me, my fingertips scraped over the tile.

"Hiro!"

"Mmm...K."

I could feel it, I was about to climax. The tension grew with every stroke, the insides of me nothing but a numbing, yearning ache. I felt unhinged and rest my forehead against the cool, wet tile and reached down to stroke myself, to help free the ache from inside, out. I mewled as every muscle in my body tightened and I came—Hiro still thrusting into me.

"Oh yesss," Hiro hissed a moment later. His hands slid up to my chest where his fingers dug in as he jerked his hips against me hard, landing his final thrusts. I knew he'd come inside.

I panted, he panted, not pulling out of me right away. It was such an intimate moment in the aftermath and he clung on to me from behind. I placed my hand over his tenderly.

"Hiro," I started softly, "You have no idea how much I loved that."

I felt his stomach muscles twitch against my back. "Oh, I think I have an idea," he said.

I chuckled too. I turned around, releasing him from me and I scooped him up in a warm embrace. We held each other for a perfectly long time. Finally, Hiro urged me under the shower where all the lather was whisked away. I sighed, it was hot and wonderful and I felt amazing! Hiro gathered me back into his arms.

"We really should get out of this shower," Hiro murmured.

"Hmm, yes," I replied sleepily, "But it's so warm in here, cozy."

Hiro chuffed as he held me, "Are you sleepy now?"

"A little—content," I said.

"Hmm..."

There was a moment of silence before Hiro spoke again.

"Will you'll let me have you again?"

"I told you, you have all of me," I reminded him.

"It works both ways," Hiro claimed sweetly.

"I should hope so," I stated.

Without warning Hiro reached behind me and shut of the faucet. He stepped out and pulled two baby blue towels off a shelf over the toilet. He handed me one. I took it and we dried ourselves off.

"Umm, I dunno about you, but I can't sleep when my hair is wet—makes the pillows soaked," I explained.

"Who says we're going to sleep?" Hiro countered.

"Well I...I thought we were, aren't you tired?"

"A bit, but we can sleep all day tomorrow. I'm not letting you out of my bed," Hiro claimed as he hung his towel over the towel rack behind the door.

"Is that so?" I replied a gentle curl to my lips.

"It is," Hiro answered, eyes twinkling.

I tugged him over to me, smoothing his wet hair out of his face and brought my lips to his softly. He wrapped his arms around me, closing his eyes as we just kissed for a long moment. Then his hand found mine and he drew back.

"Come on, let me show you my bedroom," Hiro insisted.

"Okay," I said and followed the redhead to a small bedroom with a light grey carpet and a black and white bed. There was no box spring; it had a black stand with a mattress on top. The comforter was snow white and inviting red-covered pillows lined the head of the bed. Above the bed was a large painting of cherry blossoms, and to the left, beside the bed was a nightstand with a simple, white-shaded lamp. On the floor, next to the bed was a small red carpet. The windows were covered in soft lace curtains and on the opposite wall hung a prized guitar. It had a light blonde varnish that spread out into a darker orange, and then black...it looked like a Gibson.

"Gibson?" I questioned.

"That's right, that baby is a vintage 1955 Sunburst," Hiro told me, "One day I'll play it on stage."

I smiled. "You should," I said. "This is a great bedroom."

"Thanks, I bet you thought I was a slob, eh?" Hiro offered and chuckled.

"Actually I really wasn't sure; you're a lot neater than I am. I only recently cleaned up my mess of an apartment," I explained.

"Right, because you're on vacation," he said. "So..." Hiro began to scratch his head awkwardly, "Tohma-san knew about what you were going through, is that why he put you on vacation?"

Naked, I took a seat on the bed and sighed, "Yeah, he probably read about Judy in a newspaper, or one of his inside guys called him about it. I wasn't going to tell him...I felt embarrassed, anyways, as much as I was mad at him for putting me on vacation...I'm sort of glad he did now."

"Me too," said Hiro.

I patted the bed next to me and Hiro sat down, he looked over at me and smiled. "Look what all my free time brought?" I said and reached over to gently touch Hiro's face.

Hiro grinned wider. "And it isn't over yet."

Oh?

Hiro reached over and opened a drawer to his nightstand. He withdrew a cat-o-nine whip and grinned even more wide when he looked back at me.

"You're such a devil," I said, yet, I felt excited at the prospect of the play ahead of us. But the most unexpected thing happened...

Hiro held the whip out for me to take. "It's your turn," he said, "Take it."

I cocked an eyebrow. "You want me to whip you?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mmmhmm, go on take it."

Fiendishly, I took the whip. It was hard and heavier than I would have thought in my hand. I looked over as Hiro settled himself in the center of the bed, I chuckled, a huge grin on my face.

"Hiroshi, you've been a very naughty boy..."

_Thwack!

* * *

_**A/N:** The end! So sorry it took me much longer than I anticipated to post up this story. But it's done! I hope you enjoyed reading this strange little tale lol! I had much fun re-writing it -grin- Thank you to all that commented and to all that took the time to read this!

Ayame


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